Don’t Be a Rosebud…

Mark Madden

don't be a lemon​Squeeze my lemon. Robert Plant might say that.

The Adam Rose gimmick stinks. Absolutely stinks. There is nothing redeeming. It’s a guy who goes to clubs…produced by somebody that’s never been to a club. The character is supposed to be cool, but instead comes off as a jackass. Equally damaging, who believes that guy would win a fight?

I’m told that Adam Rose is loosely based on Aldous Snow, Russell Brand’s character from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and “Get Him to the Greek.” But it’s 2014. “Greek” was released in 2010 and underachieved at the box office.

Too little, too late. It’s like when WWE made John Cena a white rapper – and picked the wrong one.

How do you involve Rose in a money program? If you create a character with no better than mid-card potential, that character will do even less than that. You can’t take Rose seriously. His entourage puts an exclamation point on that.

If you can’t take him seriously, well…at least Rose is funny, right? Wrong. Not even close. Humor, once again, is the sworn enemy of WWE. Of wrestling booking. Wrestling is good for unintentional comedy. Intentional, not so much. It’s typical McMahon humor: Juvenile, boorish and wholly unfunny.

Don’t confuse getting a reaction with being over. Fandango got a reaction. Where is he now? He’ll probably feud with Rose, actually.

Don’t consider anyone over based on reaction generated in the UK. WWE goes there very rarely. Fans there will make it an event even if it doesn’t deserve to be. The passion is very genuine. But UK fans don’t get a chance to be jaded.

Want proof?

Paul Heyman talked about the Queen dying while lying prone on the mat. Elizabeth II is 88. That's not funny. But when Heyman got up, the crowd did his Brock Lesnar catchphrase right along with him.

Paige won the women’s championship, did TV in her home country…and, of course, lost to Alicia Fox. Typical. Embarrass a performer in front of his/her home town for the sake of “surprise.” Except there’s no purpose behind the “surprise.” WWE never gets tired of putting morale to the sword.

Interest in WWE continues to dip, not unlike its stock price. More people used to watch wrestling than watch wrestling. The whole promotion is stale. Big ideas didn’t work. Daniel Bryan looked like a jabroni against Kane. John Cena looks like he’s scared of the Wyatt Family.

We heard some English football chants during this week’s Raw.

One we didn’t hear seems most appropriate: YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING!

Yeah, I know: You like WWE. Hey, 700,000 people like WWE enough to subscribe to the WWE network. Problem is, they need 1.4 million.

Follow Mark on Twitter: @MarkMaddenX

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