WWE Conspiracy: Who’s Pulling the Strings?

Mike Killam


Welcome back Wrestlezone readers to another edition of the cleverly named Mount Killamanjaro. See, it's official now because I made a cool graphic… With Vengeance upon us it's very likely that we'll soon find out who's been behind the WWE curtain for the past few months; who's pulling the curtains and telling the lies, if you will (plus one to anyone who gets the old Five Iron Frenzy reference). Even though the product lost a considerable amount of steam between SummerSlam and Night of Champions -I actually had to Google search the WWE pay-per-view schedule because I couldn't remember the name of an event I just bought a month ago – and even more-so between that event and Hell in a Cell, we still have the huge Survivor Series main event to build towards. And assuming that Team WWE will still face off against "Team Unsafe Working Environment", they are going to need a better face than John Laurinaitis to represent them against the likes of John Cena, CM Punk, Triple H, the Rock and possibly Mick Foley (I think we've switched speculation from Austin to Foley, right?). Well, I racked my brain for you guys in order to come up with a list of potential candidates. Keep in mind, the person behind the WWE "conspiracy"- AKA the person who Laurinaitis has been texting, who wanted him in power – doesn't necessarily have to be the eventual full-time General Manager of Raw. A lot of people have been factoring in who will replace "Johnny Ace" but I don't agree that it's a role the conspirator will likely fill. Although that is completely possible. 

First up in the list of more likely candidates is the CEO himself, Vince McMahon. This idea was dismissed by many when Vince showed up on Raw to relieve Triple H of his "day to day duties" as Chef Operating Officer of the WWE. Many believed that if Vince were jealous of his son-in-law and attempting to take back control, he would have already done it by now instead of allowing Laurinaitis to take over. While it's not the most probable idea, I think it's still very much a possibility that Vince will take back his company in the end, as he plays the single best corporate heel in the history of the business. Kevin Nash is another name at the time of the "most likely" list. When Nash was "fired" by Triple H he got into a vehicle with Laurinaitis and sped away. Then there's the whole text message debacle that is still going on. I suppose it is possible that the cases of text messaging are unrelated, but you have to think Creative could come up with something different… Likely or not, I think this is a terrible decision. Nash is all about the money; all about taking orders and carrying things out for other people. Not to mention that his promo work has deteriorated almost to the point of being terrible! This is a case where the most logical solution is definitely not the best solution… There's also an option that John Laurinaitis is actually the mastermind behind all the chaos. That's right, it would mean the let down of all let downs. It would mean we are all over-analyzing the entire angle, but it is possible he just wanted control for himself. It is possible that he's just a popular guy who likes sending text messages to his older brother (Road Warrior Animal) because he finally has a cool job. And maybe the whole Kevin Nash, speeding away in a town car thing was just one of those infamous WWE angles that "never happened." Moving on!

We all know how the McMahon family loves to input their personal drama into a WWE storyline. What better way to do that than to reveal Stephanie McMahon as the puller of all the strings? It's an easy enough story to put together, as she's never had full control of the company. She's watched as her father, brother, and now husband fight over power, and now she's done sitting on the side lines, packing the kid's lunches (which I'm assuming John Morrison would eat…). Personally I would love to see the Billion Dollar Princess back in a commanding role. But she's a business woman with other huge responsibilities and a family, not to mention the timing of her mother's campaign for office. I'm thinking scripted family drama is the last thing Linda wants to be used against her this time around… Which is also why Linda McMahon is decidedly NOT a candidate for this list. While you're at it, check Shane O'Mac off the list, as he's President of a Chinese company at the moment and wrapped up in overseas ventures. If he were back on the E's payroll, we probably would have heard about it by now. I've been told "never say never" when it comes to professional wrestling though. 

And speaking of next-to-impossible, we're getting down to some choices that are pretty far out there. Note that I don't really think any of the following people will be behind the angle, but I'm committed to making as comprehensive a list as I possibly can. Mick Foley and Steve Austin have been two big names circulating around the Survivor Series water-cooler. Both are company guys, but both have also had their issues with authority in the past… I think Austin could pull it off, but there's no way he's going to get the reaction the WWE is building this towards. A "Stone Cold" heel in 2011 will not work, and makes very little sense. Now, Foley on the other hand… that could work. If that's the case we're likely to see him join Team WWE for Survivor Series to help the company and his good friend Rocky (who we're leaving off this list for obvious reasons), only to force the swerve and turn on them in the end. I still have a hard time believing the crowd will "boo" Mick Foley, but if he's screwing over Cena, Rock, Punk, and Triple H there's a good chance it'll work! The only other long-shot that makes sense to me is Chris Jericho. For one, he's actually a fantastic heel character that people love to hate, and his return has been rumored in recent weeks. It's true that he has publicly stated he will eventually return, but has no plans to do so at this time. But to add a little bit of fuel to the conspiracy's flame, all of Fozzy's scheduled tour dates come to an end on November 19th. If you're keeping score at home, that's the day before Survivor Series. He would literally have to board an airplane after the show and fly from Europe to Madison Square Garden, but stranger things have been done in the history of professional wrestling, not to mention rock stardom…

That about wraps things up I think. There are certainly other names out there to be considered for a return -Batista, Bret Hart, JBL, Sean Waltman, BG James- but none of them really make sense, and with the exception of Batista, none would produce a draw worthy of bringing them back. I even considered that Vince McMahon had silently bought-out Dixie Carter's company, and that this entire angle would eventually lead to a TNA invasion. But that was back near SummerSlam when things were still very interesting and the WWE had my brain running 200mph looking for answers. Now, it's a month until their second biggest event of the year and they'll be lucky if I turn on my television for Raw on Monday. That is of course, an empty threat, as I've watched every episode of Raw for the past seven years without fail. No matter how much they disappoint me or how complacent I've become I will still watch. And that's probably the biggest issue with WWE's attitude right now… They have fans like me who will continue to watch no matter the quality, and there's no real reason to follow through on these huge angles. All that is important is the Rock's payday at the Big Four and making sure John Cena holds the WWE title during the down-time. Hopefully this angle will payoff, the puppet master pulling all of these strings is a huge reveal, and John Laurinaitis (I didn't even have to look that time!) gets taken off my television screen ASAP!

Do you agree or disagree with my choices? Who do you think will be revealed as the man (or woman) behind the curtain? Follow me on Twitter and shoot me an email with all of your insightful, and yes, sometimes terribly written responses… My information is in that cool graphic thingy at the top! 

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