The Cashbox: The “Reason” Why Del Rio Lost & Won the Title

Nick Paglino

"Dear Chris,
The reason Del Rio lost at Night of Champions has to do with Cena's superpowers. You see, many years ago, onboard the Titanic, Cena cried at midnight (he'd just lost the love of his life to some Irish con artist) during a full moon.  The magic moonbeams transformed his tear into a link between him and the ocean. This magical link allowed Cena to survive the disaster as he's gained all the powers of the ocean, specifically the ability to absorb any and all form of punishment, including age. Now an immortal, Cena created an underwater empire and, come World War I, was instrumental in defeating early U-boats. Cena's tactic for battling the Kaizer's underwater forces was the fact that he could see them, but they couldn't see him. Following World War I, Cena and his army of dolphins then decided to attack Japan. During his seige of Japan, Cena found a hidden underwater cave containing a dinosaur and set it free, making him an ally. That dinosaur was later mutated by a nuclear bomb test and invaded Japan, calling itself Godzilla and proclaiming its time was now.
What does this have to do with Del Rio losing only to win? Well, fast forward to when Cena first entered the WWE, ignoring the fact that he built a magic bullet that was stolen by the Illuminati (the only people that could see him) and that his first attempt to fly using his evolved superpowers resulted in him crashing outside Roswell in 1947, Cena got himself a contract. This contract, cursed by the Knights Templar, decreed that Cena would indeed break Ric Flair's record, but at the cost of each of his title reigns being smaller and smaller until he finally reached the magic number of 16. With Cena's supernatural ocean-like endurance to pain though, the WWE was forced to find other ways to explain how he'd lose the title, or risk the wrath of the Curse of the Templar. Cena can't allow Del Rio to keep the title forever either, for Del Rio is a member of the Illuminati and, if he holds the title aloft come the Winter Solstace, will be able to always see Cena, anywhere, anytime.
Peter Dawson"

What else needs to be said?  

Thanks to Peter for that creative email.  I honestly LOL'd when I read it the first and second time.

In all seriousness, I understand why John Cena is where he's at.  In general, he is the face of the WWE and represents it very well.  He deserves to be there and from a business standpoint, he should be protected.  While CM Punk has come a long way in appealing to those fans Cena never could, there's still a VERY large audience that live and die by the former Champ.  Once you take John Cena away from that demographic, there's no going back for a long time.  It's a big decision.  

CM Punk is being primed to take Cena's spot as the "new" face of the company and I have a prediction.  I said it on this week's Voice of Wrestling broadcast.  You may read the following sentence and think it's an obvious possibility, but the WWE has passed on many opportunities to do it in the past couple of years, so it's never an "obvious" choice with Cena.

I think John Cena turns heel by the end of WrestleMania next year. It's time.  By the way, I don't necessarily mean at WM.  I think it "should" happen before, but I do think at some point before or by the end of next year's mega-event, Cena will be a heel again.

This debate has been argued back and forth now for several years ad nauseum and I could clearly be wrong.  But if Vince wants to accomplish anything remotely close to what WCW did with Hogan's heel turn, they need to do it sooner rather than later.  Punk is there to pick up the pieces as the top babyface and merchandise seller, and Cena will be the best heel wrestling has seen in over a decade.  I base that previous statement on fan response and emotion alone – not necessarily on how he plays the part.

Let's make history, Vince.  The pieces are being put into place right now with the Miz/Truth storyline and the timing could never be better heading into the perceived biggest WrestleMania of all time.  

For the sake of argument, let's say I'm right and John Cena will turn heel by or at this year's WrestleMania – how do you think it should go down?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  Email me at with your storyline suggestions.  I look forward to reading about 25% of them!  

Follow Chris Cash on Twitter @RealityofChris.

Have a news tip? Attended an event and want to send a live report? Submit it now!
monitoring_string = "851cc24eadecaa7a82287c82808f23d0"