The Trebor Mint: The Perfect Et Cetera

Rob Kent


When I started writing The Perfect Series I wasn’t sure how long it would be or how it would end. It could be something that could carry on for a long time but I feel ultimately it needs to come to an end sooner rather than later. With this in mind and with the help and suggestions from the feedback I have been given I introduce to you the penultimate column in The Perfect Series, The Perfect Et Cetera. This is a column of mini Perfect Scenarios, some that could be whole columns on their own and other that only warrant a paragraph. I will be giving my interpretation of these Perfect Scenarios.

The Perfect Diva

The Divas are advertised as the most beautiful women in the world. Your typical Diva will contain the looks, some wrestling ability, and a certain amount of silicon. The Perfect Diva should be able to look beautiful whenever she is on TV and be able to turn from nice loving lady to the most evil person in the world. Over the past couple of years divas have improved in wrestling ability, but it will be a long while before divas are primarily wrestler, other than being primarily tools for other wrestlers to use and abuse. The Perfect Diva needs to have this mixture, of wife, warrior and woman to succeed in this day and age, and maybe a liking for fancy undergarments.

The Perfect Weapon

There have been many weapons used over the year from frying pans to the kitchen sink. The Perfect Weapon needs to be one that has a high impact, and will incapacitate the opponent while the referee isn’t looking. The Perfect Weapon can be classed into two main categories, discrete weapons and outside weapons. Discrete weapons are ones like brass knucks where they can be hidden in a wrestlers pants or at the side of the ring like Cena’s chain. Outside Weapons are like steel chairs, kendo sticks or trashcans. They can be used when the referee isn’t looking are of great effect and come into their own in a hardcore match. It would be difficult to choose The Perfect Weapon, but personally I think it should be simple but effective, but also discrete, so I would always go for The Brass Knuckles.

The Perfect Body

We have recently had the debut of Chris Masters, as The Master Piece. He is meant to have The Perfect Body, but is it? In my opinion he may have a visibly muscular body, but there is a good chance that it is non flexible. This non-flexibility will lead to an increased chance of injury, which must be avoided to be a professional athlete. The Perfect Wrestling Body needs to be flexible enough, but also tough enough to withstand the punishment of wrestling up to 7 days a week. The Perfect wrestling body needs to be strong but not weight lifting strong; it needs to be functionally strong. The Perfect Body is one that can give as good as it can take, but also one that will for mostly protect the wrestler in the ring, if things do go wrong.

The Perfect Submission Hold

Submission wrestling is in my opinion some of the most exciting wrestling before. It can lead to counter after counter, and not only involves the hold, but all the build up to the hold with wrestlers working on certain body part to tenderise them.

The Perfect Submission Hold has to be one that can be applied easily, put the opponent in pain, but most importantly incapacitates them, either to the point where they tap out or it leaves them “injured” after being in the hold. The Perfect Submission Hold in my opinion needs to focus on the lower body; it should focus on the knee or ankle. This then serves two purposes; both these joints are weaker than the neck or back so cause more pain, and they can disrupt a vertical base is vital in most forms of wrestling.

All holds can be countered in some shape or form, which is why it is so exciting to watch submission wrestling and with the consequences that follow it also takes a lot out of the wrestlers pride to tap-out. In my opinion all Submission Hold should be held in the highest regard.

The Perfect Crowd

From a promotion’s standpoint The Perfect Crowd is one that will pop, boo and cheer in the right place at the right people. They will be into the show from start to finish, and will contain no “smart” fans, only ones that think wrestling is real. But as proved at WrestleMania 20 smart fans have their use and can really influence matches for good and bad.

In my opinion I think the best crowd certainly in WWE terms are foreign crowds. This is nothing against the US fans, but just for the fact foreign crowds get less chance to see WWE, means they have more excitement in them when they do finally get the chance to see them.

The Perfect Wrestling Forum

I’m going to finish The Perfect Et Cetera on The Perfect Wrestling Forum. Now I would say 95% of people that read this column will be a member of a wrestling forum somewhere in the IWC, maybe some will run the forums and this goes to show how important wrestling forums are. They give fans from around the world a chance to discuss what they love, Wrestling and of course other sports and just general opinion. The only ingredients needed in The Perfect Wrestling Forum are people, a love of wrestling and a respect for the rules. These three combined produce the Perfect Wrestling Forum, so really all Wrestling Forums can be classes as Perfect as they give us the chance to do what we do.

I hope you have enjoyed this series and are as equally excited about my final column The Perfect Column.

This has been my interpretation of The Perfect Et cetera and as usual if you have any comments, feedback, questions please send them too thetrebormint@hotmail.com

This has been The Trebor Mint, whether you loved it, hated it, or just want to give you’re opinion or just need to answer my question email me at the above address.

Have a Nice Day!!

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