Column O’ Nonsense: Summerslam Predictions

Douglas Nunnally

Tonight, I will be reviewing WWE’s presentation of Summerslam for live as it happens. I will give my straight opinion on the event as it unfolds, which will probably include some mark out moments and some sleep inducing moments. However, tonight’s PPV looks to be a great one. There is only one match on the whole card that is expected to be bad. One match. That is perhaps the biggest WWE percentage in a long time for good matches to bad. That’s the best for any promotion in the mainstream even. Tonight’s PPV will be one of great battles, amazing crowd work, and hopefully crowing moments, and I am glad and anxious to be able to review it live and watch the entire event tonight. There is no place I would rather be except in the arena itself. Enough jabbering. Let me give you my picks on the card for tonight so you can better relate to where I am coming from! Here we go:

Eugene Vs. Kurt Angle

This is going to be pretty good, I think or rather hope. A lot of you reading this may roll your eyes at this match because a lot of people do at Eugene, but Nick Dinsmore can wrestle his special ass off and put him in with Kurt Angle and it’s a guaranteed hit. I’ve heard rumors even that these two put on a wrestling classic in OVW back in 02, so hopefully we will see another one. This match has great buildup for being a mid-card feud. I think it is good way to start out the card too as it’s an excellent opener and Kurt Angle is amazing at opening a crowd. Look at Summerslam 2002! I’m looking forward to this match a lot and I don’t think it will fall short on my hopes. Angle is obviously going over, and even if he wasn’t getting a world shot, he would still go over. Like Eugene or not, losing to a “special” guy in wrestling kills all credibility and would be detrimental to a main event player like Kurt Angle. Who cares though? This is going to be great.

Winner: Kurt Angle

WWE United States Championship

Orlando Jordan (c) Vs. Chris Benoit

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, oh how I wish WWE would have put some time and invested into this feud. It’s kind of obvious that WWE is going to put the strap on Benoit and lead into a Regal feud. The same thing happened at the beginning of the year. Rey and Eddie had a SD! match that tore the roof off so WWE put some investment into them and look at them now. Regal and Benoit tore the roof off on that Velocity episode a month or two ago and so duh, now we get a Regal-Benoit feud. But seriously, even though Benoit is going to win and Jordan is basically dead to WWE, it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have built this up. These guys had a great, truly great, match at Great American Bash and it’s guaranteed that it is going to happen again. So why not up the antes? Why not make a story stemming from the GAB match and have an actual story to the match thus pushing Benoit and Jordan that extra mile? Would that not make a match of the year candidate? Oh, well. This match is going to be great and I look forward to the crowd’s reaction, which will be deafening, when Benoit wins the title.

Winner: Chris Benoit

Matt Hardy Vs. Edge

Talking to a friend of mine, I realized just how much potential this has to be great and to suck. With this match, WWE hasn’t promoted any stipulation. It’s kind of obvious as to why considering we have a NHB and Ladder match already on the card, but still, with a feud of this level, why not have a non-sanctioned match? Or why not a street fight? It seems kind of mind boggling to me actually. If Edge and Hardy don’t go in that ring and have an all out war, it will be pathetic. If they go out there and do mat working and chain wrestling, sure, some smarks will piss their pants in excitement, but will it mean anything? No. With all the run in attacks, verbal taunts, and history between the two, this has to be an all out brawl, No ifs, ands, or buts about it. This needs to be an all out brawl. Now, if it is, I am going to be really pleased because it’s just a great feud and a truly amazing work. Yes people, it’s a work. I don’t know how much of it is, and I don’t pretend. I wouldn’t be surprised if it goes all the way back to Lita cheating on Matt, but I don’t care. All I know is that this brought in the viewers and people care again. I look forward to this match, and I would like to see Matt Hardy come out on top and further the feud to next month at Unforgiven. Get it? Hardy and Edge are unforgiven. Let it sink in. There it is. PPVs names, except for shit like Summerslam and Wrestlemania, should always tie into the feeling of the PPV. Like TNA’s recent PPV Sacrifice (click here to listen to my review of TNA Sacrifice), in the main event, they sacrificed everything to win. It just adds to it. Anyway, good brawling match should occur and Hardy should go over to appease the fans and carry it over to next month.

Winner: Matt Hardy

Undertaker Vs. Randy Orton

I’m digging the match, not the buildup. I’m an Undertaker mark, and I am even going to get to see this match live Monday night at a SD! house show, but this buildup sucks. Until Undertaker actually shows up on TV for feuds, all of his feuds are going to be lackluster. You can only do the lights/video montage gimmick so many times before the fans just don’t care anymore, and at the rate things are going, if they keep doing this, no one will care about Taker when he leaves WWE. On the actual match, it should be good. They had a good match at Wrestlemania and I think that this match could solidify Orton again as a good superstar. Orton had a great run up until Summerslam last year, and then everything he did sucked. Everything. His TV matches, his promos, his PPV matches, et cetera. His Undertaker match was the only highlight of his entire run from September 2004 to April 2005. That’s kind of sad. Actually, that is sad. It’s no duh that Orton will go over in this match and I even bet that he will use the Tombstone at one point on Taker. This is going to be a good match I feel and I’m hoping that it will put Orton back on the map.

Winner: Randy Orton

Ladder Match

Winner Gets Custody Of Dominick

Rey Mysterio Vs. Eddie Guerrero

I am a huge advocate of this feud. To find out why, you can hear me talk on the August 13th episode of The Wrestling Crossfire (just click here to listen). It’s an amazing feud and tonight will be no exception. In my mind, the best ladder match of all time is Chris Jericho Vs. Chris Benoit from Royal Rumble 2001, but if they do it right, this has the potential to completely smoke that match from four years ago. This has the story, the genuine chemistry, the crowd aura, the buildup, and the faith by the company. This is going to be your match of the night and probably another match of the year candidate. There is no doubt in mind. The only doubt in my mind is who wins? I really don’t know. For all I know, Eddie wins and Dominick turns on Rey and we see an ECW style feud from there. Or maybe Rey wins and goes into a huge push. Who knows? All I know is this feud is golden and this match will be too. I’m going to pick Eddie Guerrero because I don’t think WWE has anything else for Rey at this point, so I expect this feud to last at least until No Mercy.

Winner: Eddie Guerrero

WWE World Heavyweight Championship

No Holds Barred

Batista (c) Vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

My overall opinion on this feud and match? Meh. Literally: meh! Their match at Great American Bash was completely lackluster. Why? I feel like JBL and Batista are good talents in the fact that they have the crowd worked all the time, but in match settings, they need to be helped a little through transitions. However, JBL is a powerhouse in brawling matches like his match with John Cena so maybe this will turn out good. I’m not expecting much from this match nor do I really care. I expect Batista to retain and to battle Orton next month, but in all honesty, JBL should win the title. If WWE wants to have a marketable heel in JBL, he needs the title, otherwise, JBL’s gimmick and character just doesn’t work. I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault, it’s just the way it is. Without the belt, JBL is just another nobody on SmackDown!, and it seems obvious that WWE doesn’t want it that way. The only bad thing, in my mind, I see about JBL winning the title is that we will continue to see bad matches “rematched” into gimmick matches kind of like Triple H in 2003. Oh well, let’s just wait and see on this one because I could always be wrong and it’s not a bad thing to be proven wrong in this business.

Winner: Batista

Shawn Michaels Vs. Hulk Hogan

I pray to god this is not the main event. Why? I always, always, always, always think that the main title should be in the main event because it should always be the focus of the company. This is a big feud for WWE and probably the only draw for the whole card, but still, I can’t fathom the WWE Title not being at the top of the promotion. It’s just kind of dumb to think otherwise to me. Truth be told, I’m not looking forward to this match that much. I have a feeling it’s going to turn out like Rock-Hogan. An absolutely horrible match that was an incredible moment for the fans. I don’t dig that. Yes, I will probably mark out, but after the match is over, I won’t really care as opposed to matches like Guerrero-Mysterio or Hardy-Edge which will most likely stay on my brain hours after the event ends. I think the build-up to the match has been great and I look forward to seeing HBK turn full fledged heel by the end of the night. Also, one thing lays on my brain: Bret Hart. I don’t care who says what, to me, right now, it is 50-50 that Bret Hart will be there tonight. They are playing so much to the Bret Hart thing not to have that card up their sleeve so I really don’t see why they wouldn’t. Like everyone says, never say never in wrestling. As far as this match goes, Hogan will win definitely, yet Michaels should. There is a strong rumor that Michaels and Cena will be facing off at Survivor Series, and if that’s true, they need to start building the Michaels heel character now for his main event push. Overall, I’m more excited with the build-up and aftermath of this match than the actual match. I know I’m weird. Oh, well.

Winner: Hulk Hogan

WWE Championship

John Cena (c) Vs. Chris Jericho

It is no secret that Chris Jericho is not the Lionheart we saw in WCW or even the old Y2J from earlier this decade. He lacks the intensity, rage, and drive that we saw him with then. But that does not mean that Jericho is a sub-par worker now. By all means, no. Jericho is still a top notch superstar who can deliver excellent matches and tonight should be no exception at all. The thing I look most to tonight though will be the impact that it has on John Cena’s future. WWE has always and will always put the title on people who are not ready. The title gets you over. It’s wrestling 101. And WWE has always and will always put that unprepared champ into a series of matches with established people to help them get better. Now, this formula has fallen flat on its face in the 80s/90s with the Ultimate Warrior, but it also did wonders for Brock Lesnar. For John Cena? I think this feud followed by his feud next month with Kurt Angle will do wonders. The ending to this match is known right now to anyone with a computer, so I’m not going to hide it, but just because we all know the outcome, it does not mean it will be a bad match. I am expecting a great brawl between the two and some great heelish tendencies of Jericho that I haven’t seen since 2003.

Winner: John Cena

Tonight’s PPV will be, quite frankly, amazing. I have seen WWE haters and lovers both pouring their wallet out so they can buy this one. It has all the potential to be an amazing PPV, best of the year, and even if WWE messes up matches here and there, it will still be a great PPV. That shows you what kind of PPV we will be witnessing tonight. I will be here for you folks at 7 PM EST with coverage of Heat at and at 8 PM EST we will roll right into the coverage of Summerslam. We are the fastest on the net, guaranteed, and the most in-depth on the net as well. No one beats in PPV coverage, and that’s a promise from me. I hope to see you all there and if you’re going to watch it or just read my ramblings, I hope you enjoy yourself tonight!

For free live play-by-play coverage of WWE Summerslam, the fastest and most in-depth online, done by Douglas Nunnally tonight, click here.

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