Column O’ Nonsense: Taboo Tuesday Predictions

Douglas Nunnally

Little under an hour and a half away will be what most are predicting will be the worst PPV of the year. I try and keep an open mind to WWE as I believe a lot of the criticism it gets its unjust. With that said, I am inclined to agree with the critics on this one. The events that took place last night were a complete and utter foreshadow to the epitome of horrible booking that will transpire tonight. Sure, I believe we will get some good matches tonight, but will they make sense? Will it truly be a PPV of the fan’s power or just the WWE’s power of manipulation? Tonight, I will be reviewing this PPV LIVE as it happens over at I hope you will join me while I pray to be proven wrong, but as it is, everything is looking pretty predictable:

WWE World Tag Team Championship

Ragin’ Rednecks Vs. ___

Predicted Vote: Kane & Big Show

It’s very, very, very, very obvious who WWE wants you to vote for. HBK has been made to look like a star these past few weeks while Big Show & Kane showcased their tag team chemistry last night; WWE may not rig the votes, but they are that every watchful eye that follows you in to the voting booth. Sadly, as much as I hate to admit, I think the Rednecks title reign will come to an end tonight. Big Show & Kane have the complete size advantage and if they lose, they would lose all credibility and the whole push WWE has geared towards them. Expect the same thing as last year to happen where a heel and a face when culminating in a match between the two. Naturally, it will evolve differently, but the end product will remain the same and the work WWE has done to re-build the tag team divisions will be squashed. To its credit, I think it will be a fun match, but it still has no place on this card given that whoever wins, a push that is greatly needed in WWE will end.

Predicted Winner: Kane & Big Show

Eugene & __ Vs. Rob Conway & Tyson Tomko

Predicted Vote: Jimmy Snuka

This is a very good mid-card feud I believe. Not that of the legends versus Conway for that has been done to death by Randy Orton. Rather, Eugene-Conway is shaping into a nice feud with some actual common sense involved. Not too much overkill, not too little emphasis; the perfect amount for a mid-card feud. The only problem I have with this match is the addition of Tyson Tomko. Keeping my feelings on Tomko separate, the guy has no business in this match and to get Conway over as a heel, the match should have been kept as that so the fans could get to see what they want: a two-on-one beat-down of the guy they boo. As far as the legend voted in, I am fairly confident it will be Jimmy Snuka. With the personalities and definite complimentary styles, I would love to see Jim Duggan team with Eugene, but with the way WWE has and will always build up one of its longest employed stars, there is no doubt in my mind that Jimmy Snuka will win the voting. Sadly, it will not be Snuka and Eugene who emerge victorious tonight as with the given push of Conway (subtle mind you) and the way they are building Tomko as the “problem solver,” I feel it would do a lot of damage to Conway’s character to get a loss, while Eugene’s character will remain the same in the fan’s eyes no matter what the outcome. The match itself should be mediocre at best, but I do look forward to the Eugene-Conway exchanges as I have enjoyed them in the past. In the end, out of a mediocre match, Conway & Tomko will emerge victorious.

Predicted Winner: Rob Conway & Tyson Tomko

WWE Women’s Championship

Battle Royal

Trish Stratus (c), Victoria, Ashley Massaro, Candice Michelle, Maria, & Mickie James

Predicted Vote: Lingerie

This should definitely be a bad match. Only three of the six females in this match can work, and of those three, I question the ring-rust of one and how hanging with non-workers has affected the other. The only good thing about this match should be Mickie James as she has been an untapped WWE talent for years now. Hopefully, all the “divas” will be eliminated early leaving the three actual workers to go at it. If that happens, it will be miles better than the early confrontation, but I can still assure you that it will not be as good as it should. Plus, factor in the T & A factor that they will play to, you know the match is going to focus on the male libido and not workrate. In the end, I think there is going to be a title switch, but in the form of Victoria beating Trish and in the future, Mickie trying to avenge Trish’s loss by upending Victoria. That’s how it would play out in my mind, though with WWE, I bet Mickie James will win. Trish has had a long run and it’s time to end it, and as much as I think it will be Victoria, it’s going to be Mickie.

Predicted Winner: Mickie James

Carlito Vs. Mick “___” Foley

Predicted Vote: Cactus Jack

Dude Love is the definite throw-away vote; he had a minimal run in WWE and is really a pointless face of Mick Foley. On the other hand, I feel Mankind and Cactus Jack both have a fair chance at facing Carlito, but in the end, the fans probably want to see a sadistic beat-down of Carlito rather than a cotton-induced beat-down. This should very well be the best match (or a close second to his match with Flair) of Carlito’s career, and definitely be the thing Carlito needs to jumpstart his career again. Carlito has become the high profile jobber on Raw, and it’s a sad sight to see. What’s even sadder is that Mick Foley is going to be the one to change all that when a Mick Foley return match should be saved for more build-up and to be blunt, a better PPV. It’s sad WWE has to throw-away two huge return matches to make this PPV not be the lowest bought one of the year, but then again, having a Tuesday night PPV may just be the dumbest thing since Mae Young bore a hand (and Vince found the other one). I think this will be a damn fine match, but definitely pointless and a good job of killing any momentum they would have for a Foley return match in 2006.

Predicted Winner: Carlito

JR’s Job Depends On The Winner

Batista Vs. Jonathan Coachman

Predicted Vote: Street Fight

So let me get this straight; Austin won’t do the job because it will make him look, so why not just make the SmackDown! World Champ look weak? Even more, what the hell is he doing on this PPV? This match has nothing to do with the brand fighting feud and with the addition of Vader (who looks a lot worse than last time I saw him) and Goldust (ditto), this is just becoming an over-saturated feud to draw interest and get Coach over as the new announcer. God, WWE; just cut the crap. Bring back JR, bring back Austin to kick Coach’s ass, and stop messing around and losing viewers.

Predicted Winner: Coach

WWE Intercontinental Championship

Ric Flair (c) Vs. Triple H

Predicted Vote: Steel Cage

This should be match of the night, in my opinion. The only problem is that I have no idea if it is for the IC belt or not; and with the alleged prestige Flair was supposed to bring to the belt, that’s not a good thing at all. The feud between these two is good and based on their 2003 match; I know this one will be great especially since Flair is probably the best cage wrestler in American history. There really isn’t much more I can say about this one except that I think it will take the place of Hardy-Edge as the new hottest feud in WWE. I don’t expect this one to end until 2006 and that’s the way it should be. Triple H will go over in the first match I think just to solidify his return, but you know next Monday will have Naitch right back in his face demanding a re-match.

Predicted Winner: Ric Flair

Raw Vs. SmackDown!

Edge & Chris Masters Vs. ___

Predicted Vote: Rey Mysterio & Matt Hardy

This is like the second match on the card; I enjoy the feud a lot, but it has no business being a tag team match yet; emphasis on the word yet. Edge should have been allowed a singles match with the SD star of the audience’s choice, thus leading to Hardy-Edge V. All right, that’s a little bit of a fantasy on my part, but damn it, I want to see it! I do honestly believe this match should have been singles and ended with 4 Raw superstars coming out to help Edge win and 4 SD superstars helping Hardy out and there we have the teams for Survivor Series! Odd side note: JBL is actually working as a tweener. I’d like to see WWE run with JBL in that new role as a tweener and do some wonders with it like they did with him in 2004. Anyway, with the push of Mysterio on SD and the history of Hardy-Edge, there is no doubt in my mind who will win the vote, but as far as the match goes? I am going to go with Mysterio-Hardy. People already perceive SmackDown! to be the inferior brand, so to get one up in the audience’s eye, you need a win to even up the slate. This win would do that and make the Survivor Series match that much more important. This should be another good match, but definitely not good enough to pull this PPV from the depths of mediocrity.

Predicted Winners: Rey Mysterio & Matt Hardy

WWE Championship

Triple Threat

John Cena (c) Vs. Kurt Angle Vs. ___

Predicted Vote: Shawn Michaels

Now, I try to be nice to my readers, but I have to be blunt; if you don’t think HBK will win this voting, you are by far one of the biggest idiots I have ever met. Trust me; I know idiots! I have talked to and met Buff Bagwell and Teddy Hart, so don’t try and pull one over me. This is perhaps the only match on the card with a great build-up and amazing potential besides the Triple H-Flair match. This one has the potential to be match of the night, but I just know that with Cena’s workrate being, well, non-existent, it won’t be. I’m really drawn on who might win this match, but I know one thing: it won’t be HBK. The Angle-Cena feud is set to go on until Survivor Series and even more, HBK is supposed to be leading the charge on the Raw side against SmackDown! (or was as of two weeks ago), so I literally see no point in having HBK take it though he should. Between Angle and Cena, I think the logical choice to win would be Cena as this long-run is doing him wonders. Yes, he is not delivering amazing matches, but he is getting bigger reactions than anyone in the WWE including stars like Austin and Foley. That’s damn impressive. WWE always does Triple Threat matches well so there is no doubt in my mind that this one won’t be good, but as good as it should for the main event slot? Definitely not. In the end, expect Angle or Cena to pin HBK and the other claiming they never pinned him and thus a rematch is born. I’m putting my money on Cena. Care to make a wager?

Predicted Winner: John Cena

All in all, the matches themselves will not be that bad, but the blatant manipulation, the horribly placed day of the PPV, the throw-away return of Foley, and the mess that is Coach’s match are all reasons why this will be the worst PPV of the year. I don’t think I’ve ever said this, but it’s time to spit the truth. TNA PPVs this year have no problem or no argument beating out this one here. You know it’s bad when I say that. Again, I will be reviewing Taboo Tuesday live at Make sure to join me as I will try and keep an open mind about me. I have been heralded as the fastest and most in-depth play-by-play person on the net for WWE PPVs, and you should see why. Trust me, you’ll have fun and you’ll know results fifteen minutes faster than you would anywhere else. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you guys soon for an actual column.

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