Random Thoughts: Royal Rumble, Orton, Big Contest, More


– I saw the go home to the Royal Rumble Monday night. Vince tells the guys to shake hands? Boy, do I miss the attitude era. Now everyone has to act like a nerd. I like Randy Orton’s precence. He knows how to soak up the face time. This guy’s going to be a big time player for a while. Who would’ve thought two years ago when Orton and Hardy were having alot of professional and personal problems that they’d be main eventing the 2008 Rumble?

– I love it when the IWC buries stuff like the Shark Boy skits a couple of weeks ago. “I can’t believe they wasted all that time on stupid Shark Boy skits” was among some of the stuff I read. In actuality, I think the vignettes totaled less than 6 minutes. I guess the time would’ve been better spent putting him in another match. Of course, the show did it’s highest ratings of all time. That’s usually what happens when you get out of the ring and spend time developing characters.

– The TNA knockouts are getting pretty high ratings. Not surprising. When you have hot chicks on a show targeting the male 18-34 year old demograhic, it’s pretty tough for them to change the channel. I can’t help laughing every time I hear about how good the girls are doing on the show, and I think back to the time Johnny Ace (Laurenitis) fired all the “damn girls” when he was in charge of creative in WCW. But then he hired the wrong one legged guy in the wwe and I laughed harder.

– I got a lot of heat for making fun of Jericho’s kids. I apologize to anyone who took it seriously. It was a joke. I definitely shouldn’t be calling his kids stupid till we at least know what their s.a.t. scores are, and that will be years from now.

On a related note, I met former Philadelphia Flyer goon Dave Shulz at the sports bar near my house the other day. A bunch of former nhl’ers, including Gordie Howe, Bobby Hull, and Pat Lafontaine were there doing an appearance for all-star weekend. I had met Shulz previously when he did a spot with the Nasty Boys on Nitro in Philly and he remembered because I helped them lay their spot out.

He laughed when I brought up Ted Irvine, Chris Jericho’s father. I sent Jericho a text telling him and he texted me back and claimed that his dad took him the first time they fought. I find that hard to believe. Jericho’s dad was a punching bag, kind of like the glass joe character from the old video game.

– It’s good to see my boy Buff Bagwell getting his life straightened out. He’s been taking this new pill which is an opiate blocker and he’s been off pain pills completely for four months now, clean and sober. He physically looks incredible, too – best condition in ten years. He’s one of the best travelling buddies I’ve ever had, because believe it or not, he’s one of the best storytellers in the business. Bar none. I hope he gets another shot in the near future.

– Bill Belichik is such a great heel. He cheats with the spy cam, runs up the score, lies about injuries, and he’s head and shoulders the best at what he does. Kind of reminds me of Flair in his hey day. And how p-whipped is Tom Brady? He’s got a walking boot and he has to drive all the way to New York to get laid during the two week period before the superbowl? I know Giselle is hot and all, but you’re Tom friggin’ Brady! Let her drive to see you! He must be like he AJ Styles character in real life.

– I’m going to start reading wrestler’s biographies and critiquing them. Actually, I should just write a book about wrestler’s books. If I ever become so broke and destitute that I can’t afford to live, I think I’ll take the Jose Canseco route and write a tell-all book about the business and expose every dirty little secret and name names. I’ve already got the title: “A Helluva Deal”. I’ll explain one day why I think that is so funny.

– I find it entertaining how people bury booking so much. I would like to see if anyone would be interested in submitting their own written episode of Impact. Sit down and try to book a show and write it out. We need 10 segments. You don’t have to time it, but I would like to see what people think a written show should look like.

I’ll do this – if someone can submit their version of Impact, I’ll show you what an actual written show looks like and the thought process that goes into writing one. I think you’ll find out that it’s waaaaay harder than you think.

Everyone have a good week and I’m assuming HHH wins the rumble.


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