Part Two: A Storm’s a Brewin’


*So i go back a year or so in Storm’s commentaries, and i stumbled upon some other gems. I failed to mention in part one that the shows that Lance Storm described as insulting and stupid were the highest rated TNA Impacts to date. The problem with the type of show that Lance Storm likes, as well as alot of your typical internet smarks, is that they’re fans of shows that have proven to not draw, and despised shows which seem to be able to attract new fans.

This is from “Russorific” Feb. 2, 2007

“How a company with such an amazingly talented locker room can produce such an unwatchable show is beyond me. Actually it isnâ<80><99>t beyond me I watched Vince Russo do it in WCW.”

–Wow! That’s pretty strong for a guy that wasn’t even close to as over as he was when Russo was booking him. Is Lance an actual worker, or an internet mark?

“I have come to the conclusion that TNA is to Wrestling, what Scary Movie is to Horror Films. It has become a comedic spoof of a wrestling show.”

–Maybe pro wrestling treated as a real sport is what makes it a comedic spoof to people that don’t watch it. Pro wrestling is grown men wearing bathing suits pretending to fight each other. Maybe not taking itself so seriously is what it needs. It’s very difficult to compete with UFC and boxing these days.

“Counting Cornette and valets there were 39 people on this Freakin show. How are we supposed to remember any of it?”

–I think Lance should use the word “I” instead of “we” when trying to comment on his own deficiencies with his memory.

“I am officially at wits end and will not watch another TNA show until they replace Vince Russo. Hopefully this will happen before TNA goes out of business.”

–TNA is over a year older doing it’s best business yet.

This is from “Why I Rant” Feb. 5, 2007

“WWE and TNA are in two completely different boats. WWE has a stable loyal audience that tunes in every week, buys enough merchandise, and orders enough PPVs for WWE to make money. As long as they donâ<80><99>t do enough stupid things to drive their audience away in droves they will stay in business.”

–Well, when Russo left they were doing 6’s, and now they’re doing low threes. I don’t know if you can consider it “droves”, but the bottom line is that over the course of time WWE has lost half of it’s audience and their numbers are still DROPPING. TNA over the course of one year has increased it’s viewership. Whose booking model would the typical layperson say has been more effective?

“How I’d Book Impact” from Feb. 9 2007 mainly illustrates how Lance has no clue how to write a television show that would get people that don’t watch wrestling to start watching the show.

“I would break the show into 4 10 to 12 minute segments. If commercial breaks require it, some segments would span commercial breaks, 3 of those segments will almost always feature matches. One of those segments each week would be devoted to the X-Division, and I would focus less on â<80><9c>Story Linesâ<80> with the X-Division and give it more of a pure wrestling feel. You can book some angles along the way but predominantly it would be about competitive high-end action. I would also keep these finishes as clean as possible. I think most of the appeal to the X-Division is the action so by simplifying the angles here will allow for more story based stuff elsewhere. There are a lot of â<80><9c>spot junkiesâ<80> out there, this will give them there fill, and by giving the X Guys 8-10 minutes of actual bell to bell ring time they will be able to get their personalities over more during matches.”

–So all the matches would basically have the same amount of time. How realistic is that? And how do you give more time to guys that don’t have alot of personality time to get their personalities over? The funniest thing about all this is that Lance Storm is maybe the one guy in WCW that benefitted the most from Vince Russo. Could you imagine if Lance had to rely on his in-ring work to get his personality over? And he still bashes the booking model that gave him character and puts over the one thing that turns away fans that don’t like wrestling. More wrestling.

*For the record, there are some things in TNA that I’m not a big fan of. I’m not a big fan of the Super Eric character, to me it’s a little hokey, but it gets a pop. I’m not a big fan of repetitive x-division matches where the guys work too fast. I’m not a big fan of Karen Angle yelling at Kurt all the time, but I am a big fan of her seducing characters on the show. I’m not a big fan of long matches. But I do understand that my personal likes and dislikes don’t 100% translate to what needs to be done to draw new fans to wrestling. It’s a shame when guys like Lance Storm gain a vocal following in this business. They work counterproductive to what needs to be done, because I don’t care what anyone says, the bottom line is that wrestling fans will watch the show as long as there’s wrestling on, and they don’t need to be appeased. If there’s people that have been watching wrestling for the past ten years, they’ll be watching ten years from now, regardless of how bad the show is. We need to try and get that fan base that liked the hokie stuff from the Attitude era. 18-34 year old guys that like low brow humor and hot chicks, not nerds that want to give star ratings to fake fights, when they’ve never actually been in a fight themselves.

*You know what I find so funny? Is that people look at me as a big heel on this site. All the haters come on and bash TNA and wrestling in general with foul language and venom. I counter by specifically addressing certain issues when I think people’s opinions don’t represent the masses. Seriously, I compare (most of) your internet fans to Philadelphia Eagles fans. All they do is boo and talk about how everything sucks. They boo’ed Santa claus on Christmas Eve. True story. They’re certainly not babyfaces. They’re heels. Nobody ever said, “Boy, aren’t those Philly fans a grat bunch of folks?” And here I’m considered a heel for cutting promos on the heels. Pretty ironic, huh?

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