Random Thoughts: Hogan, “Fire Russo”, Nash, & More!

WrestleZone


*Boy, does Hulk Hogan really need to stick to the fake stuff. His venture into reality tv hasn’t produced the best results for him and his family. Divorce, son in jail, getting crucified by Nancy Grace, etc.. Now he’s featured more on TMZ.com than Wrestlezone.com. The problem with reality tv is that it’s never on your terms. Hogan Knows Best might have been what HE thought was reality, but the reality is that the paparazzi are the ones doing his reality show. I don’t think Hulk envisioned that his jailhouse conversations with Nick, where they’re blaming God for putting some heavy shit on the victim because Nick said he was a “negative person” would be broadcast to the entire world. His next reality show should be called Hogan and Nick Know Public Relation’s Nightmares.

*I was really impressed by my forsight at the TNA tapings this week. I predicted a packed rowdy house for the tapings since it was Memorial day and the park was jammed. That usually equals loud, drunk fans. Boy, did they deliver. It makes for good tv when the crowd reacts accordingly for the heels and the faces, instead of a bunch of nerds chanting “Fire Russo” at the top of their lungs. The funniest thing about the “Fire Russo” chants is that the boys and Vince laugh at how stupid and pathetic the people that do that are. Even Dixie was laughing at one of the ppv’s that how ironic is it that people will pay $120 dollars for a front row seat so they can chant “Fire Russo.” Think about that. “If you guys don’t fire Russo, then we’re not going to pay $120 for front row seats anymore!” O.k. Thanks for the $120, though!

*Tommy Fierro wants some more feedback for his articles. I will oblige on his latest edition. Last we’ve seen, Tommy has booked Kennedy and CM Punk to be the two biggest stars in the business. I’ll pretend for arguments sake that it’s NOT wishful thinking, and give him the benefit of the doubt. I like his new angle, but with a twist. After HBK hits HHH over the head with a sledgehammer, we find out that HHH has indeed been killed, as the blunt force blow from a sledgehammer to the head caused a massive brain injury and the blow proved fatal. The next night on Raw They bring out HHH’s casket and HBK and Orton urinate on it and declare that they’re Evolution X. They offer Batista a spot in their group and he comes to the ring. HBK tells him to shake their hands and join their group, but Batista refuses, because they haven’t washed their hands. Next week on Raw, HBK and Orton are once again in the ring, this time with hand sanitizer, and Batistsa comes down this time and indeed does shake their hands and joins their group. When this happens, the lights go off, and when they come back on Brian Pillman, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Andre The Giant, and HHH are in the ring and they nail the heels and send them scurrying up the ramp. HHH then announces that their group will be called Resurrection X, the first ever babyface faction to come back from the dead. In the words of Tommy Fierro, “It would be something new. It would be something fresh. It would be something interesting! Then it’s time to make that money..money…. ”

*I feel bad for my good friend Mark Madden. He was recently fired by ESPN radio because the suits felt that their heel commentator was being too heelish. We used to do some pretty funny bits on his show. I was Mr. Friday Afternoon, Glenn Gilbernetti, the football handicapping expert. Sometimes we’d do schtick where i would call in on monday to give the picks for yesterday’s games because i’d supposedly been on a crack binge all weekend and didn’t know what day it was. I’d still pick the games wrong even after they’d been played. Then i wouldn’t be on the show next week because i was in drug rehab. We’d recently been doing a bit on the show where i was Pyro the Kentucky Derby horse. I would complain that all my trainers feed me is grass and hay, and that all i really wanted was a burger. It was funny when listeners would call in with questions for Pyro. I’d always talk in my regular voice for all of these skits, and The disco inferno theme song would play before i came on. Madden really is one of the best talk show hosts in the country, and I wish him well in the future.

*Ratings should be down for any wrestling show these days that has to compete with the Lakers and the Celtics on tv. It’s pretty much common sense. If the game is a blowout, the ratings on the wrestling shows rise, if they’re close, they fall. When I used to book for WCW, that was always the formula when we went head to head with Monday Night Football.

*I just noticed that the site posted “Embarrising Nash News.” No takers for $2300 to spend time with him. Actually, it would have been more embarassing for the person that actually would’ve paid it. I can see how the ebay idea came about.

“Hey, Kev. Some mark wants to go eat dinner with you and hang out?”

“For free?”

“Yup.”

“Not a chance.”

“How much would you want?”

“I don’t know, at least 2 grand.”

“So you’d go to dinner with someone you don’t know for two grand?”

“Yeah, but start at 2300.”

“OK. I’ll post it on ebay.”

1 week later:

“Did anyone bite on the $2300 dinner?”

“Nope.”

“Cool. I’ll just go out to eat with my wife and kid.”

If anybody from wrestlezone wants to go and eat with yours truly, the bidding will start at $250,000.

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