Fantasy Draft


*Is a pay site? I feel sorry for the people that pay for Mike Johnson’s news. You should feel like you’ve been robbed if you’re taking anyhting this guy says with a grain of salt. I was sitting at home watching football this weekend, when i surf the web and i see a “Glenn Gilbertti Update” on one of the “news” sites. ???? Apparantely, this imbecile, since I didn’t go to Canada, reported that I was being detained at the border and wasn’t allowed entry. Thankfully, someone that knows me reported the truth, that i never even tried to get in. For the record, while this international incident supposedly took place, I was home watching football.

*I’ve decided to give my top 5 fanatsy draft picks for professional wrestling. I’m going to give them in ascending order.

5) AJ Styles.

This will be to insure that my organization will at least have one of the best matches of the week. However, I will insist that he grows his hair longer, and put some bell bottoms on and be the reinvented version of the Disco Inferno character. I always wondered what my career would’ve been like if I was blessed with AJ’s athletic ability. Now we would get to find out what AJ styles would be like if he was blessed with my charismatic appeal.

4) The Invisible Man

A no-brainer. He can feud with every character on the show. Not to mention you don’t have to pay the guy. If anyone can get me in touch with WWE’s booking office, I’d also like to get the number of God. I’m sure someone must have it since he teamed with Shawn Michaels recently. I’d definately like to do a God vs. The Invisible Man match at some point, because God would be the only one that can see The Invisible Man. I just hope there wouldn’t be any backstage politics from the guys that don’t want to put over The Invisible Man.

3) Irish Pat Kenney

This time his character would be done correctly. The Irish Pat Kenney character would be a former Notre Dame football heisman trophy winner that gave up a pro football career to play for the New York Yankees. The story would be that he got the Rick Ankiel disease where he couldn’t throw the ball straight anymore and had to quit the major leagues and decided to get into professional wrestling. There would be an Irish Pub set up in a corner of the arena where Pat would be drinking Irish Ale and watching Notre Dame football and Yankee games during the show. When it would be time for his match, The Dropkick murphy’s “Shipping up to Boston” would play right after Pat throws his beer glass down and it breaks on the floor, ala SCSA. His maneuvers would have names like “The Cloverleaf” and “The Lucky Charm.” The brilliance of this character would be recognized by the entire industry, and it would revolutionize the business.

2) Matt Morgan

Wouldn’t be hard to book this guy. A giant, well built, well-spoken monster. I could have him stutter, or put a mask on him, but I’m way too smart for that. Matt would be my first alien character on my show. A spaceship would descend and the door would open with a bright light shining out of it as “The Close Encounters of the Third Kind” music plays. Then the music would stop and “Sirius” by the Alan Parson’s project plays and Matt would walk out with wrestling tights and a Michael Jordan Chicago Bull’s jersey, and fans would immediately notice the two antennae sticking out of his head. The Chicago Bulls p.a. announcer would do his introduction, “Annnd now! From The planet Mars, weighing 300 lbs., The Alien Blueprint, Matt Morgan!” He would be able to speak English, eventually. And I think he would have to start mating the knockouts. This angle would be an offshoot of Matt having his DNA shot into space.

1) Nathan Jones

He would play the most awesome character on the show. He would wear a black mask with a black long-sleeved shirt and black trunks and boots. His name would be in white block letters on the front of his shirt: FIRE RUSSO. That’s what the announcers would call him. He’d be booked like ECW’s 911. Whenever the crowd chants “Fire Russo” here he comes. Chokeslams, powerbombs, and tombstone piledrives everyone. The fans will either get so sick of seeing him that they’ll stop chanting “Fire Russo,” or they’ll cheer it all the time and he’ll be so over that everyone would have a FIRE RUSSO 3:16 shirt, and they’ll even be chanting it at other sporting events. The possibilities are endless, but a showdown between FIRE RUSSO, The Blueprint Alien Matt Morgan, and The Invisible Man would headline my biggest show of the year in a 3 way dance, with Irish Pat Kenney challenging for AJ Styles’ world title on the undercard.

*My fantasy football team stinks so far. Braylon Edwards is a bum. I need help with my running backs this week, because with my luck I know that I’ll play the wrong one. Reggie Bush, Chris johnson, and Brandon Jacobs. I’m in last place. Peyton Manning better step it up or els i’m going to be the laughing stock of my league, again.

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