Oh Lord Littlebrook, For These We Are Truly Thankful

Scott Hudson

This is the week during which we reflect and give thanks for our bountiful….bounty. Anyway,

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful that JBL (Jiggly Boobs Layfield) is finally being exposed to the masses as a talentless hack who is to professional wrestling (or sports entertainment) what Milli Vanilli was to death metal.

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful that Robert Roode and James Storm are getting their well-deserved run (although the name Beer Money leads to the inevitable calls for â<80><9c>answerâ<80> teams called â<80><9c>Emergency Rubbers,â<80> â<80><9c>A2M,â<80> â<80><9c>Secret Porn File,â<80> â<80><9c>Milf Listâ<80> or â<80><9c>Weed Stashâ<80> (or does â<80><9c>Kronikâ<80> count for that one?)

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful that Mike Adamle has been shown the door. I get a gut feeling that the New American Gladiators and Celebrity Championship Wrestling will not be picked up for renewal so, Mike, thereâ<80><99>s always the Special Olympics broadcast on ABCFamily.

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful that there have been no Pat Patterson wardrobe malfunctions. Iâ<80><99>m pissed there havenâ<80><99>t been any Mickie James wardrobe malfunctions. In fact, Iâ<80><99>m pissed thereâ<80><99>s a Mickie James wardrobe at all.

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful that people named F.I.L.T.H.E.E., Grandmaster Caz and Ace Young appeared on TNA broadcasts (praise God) not as new wrestlers.

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful that Mark Madden has a good memory and such a searing distaste for Dallas Page (although I probably will not hold my breath awaiting the â<80><9c>Bedroom Secrets of Pamela Paulshockâ<80> series he has promised).

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful that Goldust is back and being used to full effect. Iâ<80><99>m more than a little frightened at the prospect of a Goldust vs. Cody Rhodes feud.

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful that Bobby Lashley is out of the business. Good grief, this guy was ECW World Champion?! Hey, whatever happened to ECW anyway?

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful for Nikki-Rae and Rachel (if you donâ<80><99>t know….)

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful that Brock Lesnar manhandled Randy Couture. At least UFC has a name star to build around (albeit one who ragdolled a 43 year-old man at least 10 years removed from his peak who had not fought in two years). Now that Kimbo Slice has been freed up, can Lesnar vs. Kimbo be pencilled in as the money match for 2009?

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful that if I sell one share of WWE stock I can buy a set of Jeff Hardy Day-Glo Green Armbands or half an Edge Beach Towel.

* Iâ<80><99>m thankful that Corey Silkin and Adam Pearce have backed away from their â<80><9c>letâ<80><99>s resurrect the 1970’sâ<80> booking idea for Ring of Honor. Unfortunately, the Love Brothers (Reginald and Hotfart), Tex McKenzie and Tony Parisi have returned to their jobs as Wal-Mart greeters since those potential bookings dried up.

*And Iâ<80><99>m thankful that Wrestlezone is still around (trust me on this one – it does NOT get any better than this site and these contributors).

Have a great Thanksgiving and remember – the Gobbledy Gooker will rise from the Turkey patch and visit only the most gullible marks on Thanksgiving Eve. If he visits you this year, you win a Captain Mike Rotunda shirt! Iâ<80><99>m off to the field.

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