EXCLUSIVE: The Mark Brothers; Go All The Way

Mark Madden


Remember when the Hardy Boyz were the future of wrestling? Two fresh-faced kids that could GO?

What the hell happened?

They have a million excuses, and they Tweet ‘em all. But the Hardy Boyz have authored all their own problems. The drugs, the attitude, the flab, the underachieving – you’d feel bad for them, but they’ve varnished themselves with such a thick veneer of entitlement (especially Matt) that you just get tired of them. Imagine that – the Hardy Boyz, BORING.

Matt was better when Mattitude came with a sense of irony, of self-deprecation, of FUN. But then he believed the IWC’s BS and became just another victim of on-line stupidity. And of McDonald’s.

As for Jeff, he was better before he got bloated and drug-addled.

A quick note: I weigh more than both Hardyz put together. But I’m not in a business where looks and physique count. They are.

Now Matt will go to TNA, and join “they” or whatever Hogan’s gang is called, or maybe he’ll work against Jeff – brother vs. brother, whoo-hoo! MONEY! Matt will be a “main-eventer” in TNA. But are you really a main-eventer if nobody watches the main events you’re in? Are you really a main-eventer if your TRUE job is to give a rub to Hulk Hogan’s pathetic carcass?

How about Impact! last week – the show opens with a 57-year-old man who looks RIDICULOUS hobbling to the ring on CRUTCHES. Then comes 30-plus minutes of TALKING.

TNA – Talking, No Action.

Back to the Hardyz: Wrestling is a BUSINESS. The world little notes, nor long remembers. The Hardyz seem to have mentally elevated themselves to mythic status vis-à-vis credibility in pursuit of their “art.” Jeff left WWE when he was in main events, a No. 1 babyface and at the height of his earning potential. Whether by choice or a veiled drug suspension, he left lots of cash on the table. Matt’s ego and waistline ballooned. Now he’s out of WWE, too.

Can anybody possibly think these dunderheads are anything but STOOPID?

The only way leaving WWE for TNA is good is if you’ve already made your money and will physically benefit from the lighter schedule. Or if you get one of those sweetheart sucker deals – which, come to think of it, Jeff probably has and Matt can probably get. Forgot about ATM Dixie.

When you consider everything, the Hardyz are MARKS.

No wonder you like ‘em.

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