EXCLUSIVE: Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, The Barbarian…

Ken Napzok

There be a Rumble a-brewin’…

    In addition to all the convention hoopla, autograph sessions, and late night diner food, there is also a little pay-per-view event this weekend called the Royal Rumble. Legend has it Pat Patterson created it.  “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan won the first one.  He may be needed to compete in this one to fill out the “40 man” part of the event.

Here are my (official and well informed) predictions. (Guesses.)

Diva’s championship: Natalya vs Lay-Cool in a 2-on-1 handicap rematch. Lil’ Nattie Neidhart gets more coverage later in this column, but I’ve got to think her run at the top will come to an end. They’ve let her hold onto the title for a decent amount of (modern) time and they put her and Beth Phoenix over at TLC. Time to flip the script and give the belt back to the Flawless People.  

Prediction: Lay-Cool with the win. McCool with the belt.

World Heavyweight championship: Edge defends against Dolph Ziggler. This one has the stipulation that if Edge uses his Spear than Ziggler gets the duke and the title. No. Really. The stip makes it more likely that the former Spirit Squader leaves with the Big Gold Belt, but, as I previously stated, there is a lot of change going around and it is probably good to have at least one old hand holding gold building up to WrestleMania.  

Prediction: Edge with a win THEN a Spear. Three star match at least.

WWE championship: The Miz defends against Randy Orton. The build up for this match has actually been pretty good. I enjoyed the Miz/ Riley beat down of the Viper on Raw and Orton always brings his A game. If this were 2009, I’d say it would be easy money to take Orton, but this is the Change Era and The Miz is the poster boy for the change.  I actually believe, in my heart and in my Real World lovin’ soul, that Miz takes the belt all the way to ‘Mania.

Prediction: The Miz uses some well-timed Alex Riley interference to escape with the belt. Orton wins via DQ. (It’s called the Lex Lugar win!)

WWE Tag Team championship: There is a rumor going ‘round that there are actual tag team champions and that the titles will be defended on this card. Sure. Whatever, Internet.

Prediction: Marella and Kozlov via the Cobra, no matter the opponent. Awkward sexual situations with Snuka’s kid afterward.

The Biggest Royal Rumble Ever:  Hacksaw won with 20 entrants. Hogan, Michaels, Austin, The Rock, and, um, Vince McMahon won with 30. This year the winner is going to “overcome” 40 participants. That is going to look great on the resume of…

Prediction: John Cena after he lifts up CM Punk high in the air and tosses him onto the members of the “New” Nexus.


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