Mark Me A Mark; Rankings (That Don’t Really Matter)

Ken Napzok

Rankings (That don’t really matter)

1.) – The Rock, The People’s Hero-  That. Was. Awesome.

2.) – Vince McMahon, former play-by-play man- No. Seriously, Vince, that was awesome.

3.) – Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana, Boom Boom- The wrestling funnyman won the NWA Hollywood’s invitational battle royal to earn a title shot against NWA World Heavyweight champion “Scrap Iron” Adam Pearce. Should be a great finish to a solid feud. You know, Ronnie Garvin once held that title.

4.) – Yoshi Tatsu, Not a Mario Bros Character- Anyone who gets to kiss Maryse deserves a place on some sort of rankings list.

5.) Jeff Hardy, Anti-Christ of the Law- He’s back on top and now a twwwwwooooo time TNA World champion. What an accomplishment! What a tale of perseverance over trials and tribulations! The in-ring resume just keeps getting longer. Amazing. What? Why are you all so quiet? Something wrong? Hmmmm… weird.

The “Why you should really love Indy Wrestling” award of the week:

Joey Styles retweeted a great Op Ed piece from Philly-based independent grappler “True Talent” Bobby Shields, posted on his website, about his experience with the Team Tazz finishing school. You could take the piece as an advertisement or Tazz-mark fluff, but if you do I think you’d be wrong. What I loved about Shields putting this out there is the pure passion for the business that ran through it. When you watch the WWE, TNA, and even at times, Ring of Honor, on TV you forget that below this glossy surface are people like Bobby Shields: Guys and gals who absolutely love this business and are still dripping with hope and potential. The road to success is a very, very tiny road now and the idea of the Team Tazz finishing school is a needed one. It will be interesting to see if graduates of the school start to make their mark on the next level.

The “You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone” R.O.H. TV award of the week:

Bobby Dempsey. Seriously. The Dusty Rhodes build, the “Playboy” Buddy Rose hair, the essence of sweat seeping through my TV screen. It’s almost mesmerizing. I doubt he’ll ever touch TV time again if ROH goes dark and, while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it is a bit of a shame.

Fast Count…

The way I see it…  John Cena has no choice but to turn heel. OK. Maybe there is a choice what with those T-shirt sales and all, but The Rock absolutely cut him down and set it up the turn. It wasn’t so much the funny “fruity pebbles” comments as it was Rock pointing out that Cena was previously talking trash. Huh? Whhhaaaat? But, he’s our Superhero! It’s your time, Cena. Time to shake it up.

I would totally love it if… the WWE stopped letting episodes of Raw go past their two hour, eight minute time slot. This is the DVR age after all. So, unless you were watching TV live or in attendance, you probably didn’t set your DVR to record TWENTY MINUTES after the scheduled show time and therefore had to watch most of The Rock’s grand return via You Tube clips or grainy cell phone camera footage smuggled out of the Honda Center. I didn’t really need to see Orton/ Sheamus that bad, did I?

I gotta think…  we just might be heading into a pretty entertaining few months in the ole’ WWE. We have The Rock back. (Even if it just to Guest Host) Steve Austin and Booker T on Tough Enough. Nash hovering around. CM Punk getting the spotlight. Just gimme Jericho back full-time and let The Miz go off book and we might have the perfect storm of voices working the stick.

I must confess…  I was pretty sure the Guest Host of WrestleMania 27 was going to be Justin Bieber, Bob Barker, or Someone Else No One Cares About.

Come on, admit it…  The Miz worked a great match with Daniel Bryan. Plain and simple. Until he has that really big moment in and/ or out of the ring, he’ll constantly be fighting for approval and acceptance and, even as an admitted proud owner of a “Hello, I’m Awesome” shirt, I get that. But he absolutely hung with The American Dragon and even had a “ooohhhhh… that’s gotta hurt” moment with that neckbreaker onto the ring apron. One day, you will all believe. (Or else this T-shirt’s resale value is never going to go up.)

Sure… it seems out of left field, but all these ‘Taker/ Triple H at Wrestlemania rumors are very intriguing. Yeah, it’s an about face to the Youth Movement vibe, but this is WrestleMania… no time to take risks. As much as I like Wade Barrett, you might have to cook one more year of seasoning into him before giving him that big of a spotlight.  

Quick… if Rocky Maivia debuted today what would his name be? Charlie McDougal, Bulky Barney, or Ted DiBiase Jr.?

Ken Napzok is a writer, comedian, and pro wrestling manager living in Los Angeles. He knows his role, but is very happy that The Rock is back to remind him. He can be followed online at and or contacted at

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