The Killers Start a New Christmas-Song Tradition With ‘Joel The Lump of Coal’

 

While The Killers are no stranger to Christmas songs, having recorded a new one every year for the past 8 years, there are only so many Christmas characters to sing about. The boys from Vegas are taking it upon themselves to start a new character trend, which may not be quite as catchy as Santa Claus, Rudolph or Frosty but may just be the most fitting of all: Joel, the Lump of Coal.

Created with the help of Jimmy Kimmel, “Joel, The Lump of Coal” aims to set a new holiday standard through naughty-shaming. The boys even put on some terrible holiday sweaters for the occasion.

“What kid would ever want you? You’re filthy as can be,” they sing, chastising the coal piece, who looks like a burned-up Meatwad.

 

Basically Santa is a bastard. Joel is enjoying a happy existence on the North Pole, until Santa decides to use him to teach a naughty kid a lesson. Joel doesn’t want to go, but Santa is a dick, and gives him no choice. The coal eventually turns into a diamond to make the naughty boy happy, thus subverting Santa’s whole sadistic routine.

 

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