Wisconsin Couple Seeking Someone To Take Pictures Of Them Humping On Their Wedding Night

Photo: BDLM (Getty)

I’m pretty sure this is why Craigslist was invented.

According to City Pages, a couple of Wisconsin virgins who are tying the knot later this year posted an ad on Craigslist late last month in hopes of finding somebody who’s willing to document their special day “from beginning to end.”

That’s right, kids. The groom has yet to penetrate his wife, and he wants somebody there to take pictures of him when he finally does. Of course, finding somebody who actually wants to be in the room while two rookies figure things out is proving to be quite the bitch, so that’s why he and his fiancée decided to reach out to the masses on Craigslist in late June.

Screenshot: Craigslist

And now they play the waiting game.

It’s been 22 days since the virgins posted the ad, and since it’s still up there, we’ll assume that they have yet to find a taker. Perhaps it’s because it’s impossible to take tasteful pictures of virgins going at it for the first time, you know, with all of the crying, “wrong hole” and shit, or maybe it’s because nobody wants to send the couple any examples of their work.

Personally, if I was a photographer in the Madison area, I’d be up for it for the right price. After all, since they’re virgins, they would probably only need me for about 15 seconds.

And here’s another lovely offer: Man On Craigslist Will Cook Crab Gnocchi For Any Couple While They Hump

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