This Police Sketch Of An Attempted Kidnapping Suspect In Imperial Beach Is Pretty Ridiculous

October 21, 2016

Photo: Alessandro Di Noia (Getty)

There are some pretty bad police sketches out there, and the police sometimes do some pretty dumb things, but you won’t believe this police sketch.

It’s highly unlikely that you would see a random dude with an eyeball tattooed on his forehead and a skull on his throat and then ask him to babysit your kids, but this should squash any remaining chance that you would ever do so.

So, yeah. Some dude in Imperial Beach, California recently tried to kidnap another human being but failed. That’s good news. The even better news? You guessed it: According to the police sketch artist, he shouldn’t be too hard to find thanks to the fact that he either lost a bet or is just really bad when it comes to life choices because he’s walking around with an eyeball on his head and a skull on his Adam’s apple:

ATTEMPTED KIDNAPPING in Imperial Beach. Sheriff’s release composite sketch. More at 11p on @CBS8 pic.twitter.com/H0UxZgOmVH

— CBS News 8 (@CBS8) October 21, 2016

Let’s get a closer look at this damn gem:

Or who knows? Maybe that’s actually a third eye instead of a tattoo. If that’s the case, then maybe it will take the police much longer to catch up with him because he’ll have no problem being able to see them coming.

h/t CBS San Diego

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Tommy Gimler is a stand-up comedian, musician, writer, emcee and all-around good guy. He has worked hundreds of stages across the country, including those at The Laugh Factory, The World Famous Comedy Store and dozens of Improvs.

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