26 Of The Funniest NFL Tweets To Get You Ready For The New Season

It’s almost time for a new NFL season, which means plenty of opportunities for your favorite players to blow huge moments and leave you devastated over your fantasy team for weeks to come! To help you prepare for that, here are 26 of the funniest tweets about the NFL from some very hilarious people. Enjoy!

Jack Del Rio name literaly means “masterbate into a river”

— PFTCommenter (@PFTCommenter) January 19, 2014

Giants have a number for texting issues at the stadium. Feel like mine was not taken seriously. pic.twitter.com/4SPWcMIDkR

— Augustus Steranklozo (@davelozo) December 20, 2015

You can tell Tim Tebow is a virgin by his unwillingness to give a new position a try.

— Katie Nolan (@katienolan) March 16, 2015

okay guys bring it in coach belichick wants to speak to the team pic.twitter.com/lhzOgsala5

— andy levy (@andylevy) February 1, 2015

Pete Carroll’s phone pic.twitter.com/DFT3uYMgsQ

— Umang Dua (@umangdua) February 2, 2015

“Tom Brady did nothing wrong” is Boston’s “The Confederate Flag isn’t really about slavery.”

— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) July 28, 2015

BREAKING: Patriots announce Dom Grady will start in place of suspended Tom Brady for the first 4 games of the season pic.twitter.com/ds9pBEIDfV

— Fake SportsCenter (@FakeSportsCentr) April 25, 2016

Aqib Talib falls off the stage! pic.twitter.com/3vuLMIhjS3

— Jay Busbee (@jaybusbee) February 8, 2016

CHIP KELLY: Does anyone want this last piece of ice cream cake?

DEMARCO MURRAY: (raises hand)

CHIP KELLY: Nobody? Guess I’ll throw it away.

— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) December 21, 2015

Fantasy Football is great because I now have a way to make another human’s devastating injury somehow about me

— Good Account (@SortaBad) October 11, 2015

Still the funniest Osweilerism ever https://t.co/yM0uG0nTpx

— Shannon Burkhart (@s_burk23) August 15, 2016

this is the most sports vine that has ever been vined https://t.co/hxEheKMarP

— Lana Berry (@Lana) December 4, 2015

Chip Kelly should go on a road trip to clear his head after this, but for him a long drive is like 38 yards.

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) December 30, 2015

#Nice pic.twitter.com/GUBCBFaIeX

— Drew Mahowald (@DrewMahowald) July 31, 2016

You’d never have Odell Beckham’s amazing catches without Eli Manning’s shitty, uncatchable throws.

— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) November 24, 2014

“looks like they’re challenging the spot. let’s go to mike carey”

“jim, i bake bread in my dishwasher”

“thank you mike”

— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) January 12, 2015

the best catfish in existence is the God parody account that has been private messaging Russell Wilson

— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) July 6, 2015

Bartender: What can I get ya?

“A Johnny Manziel please”

*Bartender pours a once-in-a-lifetime shot down the drain*

That’ll be $15

— Good Account (@SortaBad) November 25, 2015

Brett Favre has thrown his hat into the ring to replace the injured Jay Cutler. The hat was immediately intercepted and returned for a TD.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) December 5, 2011

I bet like, 6 months after Miami chose the dolphins as their logo, they were like, “Oh yeah, sharks! Fuck.”

— Drew Snow (@Dschnoeb) August 5, 2013

*ding* said the NFL’s random punishment generator after a long weekend of making whirring and sputtering noises

— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) May 11, 2015

Any babies you produce are the sole property of the National Football League. Any other use is strictly prohibited.

— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) February 8, 2016

So Tom Bradys only supsended 4 games for deflating footballs but Harambe the gorilla gets summarly executed for saving a childs life?

— PFTCommenter (@PFTCommenter) July 13, 2016