wearing speedos
Maracajau, Brazil.

Not Shocking News: Only One Percent Of Women Actually Like Their Men Wearing Speedos

Man standing on beach, arms akimbo, low section. Photo: Eric McNatt (Getty)

For those who suck at math, 99 percent of ladies think you shouldn’t wear a Nantucket nad bucket.

According to Stuff, the vacation specialists at On The Beach recently surveyed 100 women. Just one of them said they enjoy seeing their man walk the beach donning a Speedo. UK-based firm YouGov doubled down on the sentiment, naming pickle pinchers the most hated piece of clothing.

“Our results show that some things really are better left to the imagination,” Matthew Smith at YouGov said. “No matter how ready men’s beach bodies are this summer, they might not make too many friends if they stride across the sand in a pair of Speedos.”

The gang at Speedo didn’t care too much for their scrote totes getting dragged through the mud. They, too, offered up a statement reminding everybody that if sausage slings aren’t to your liking, they sell other forms of swimwear.

This is the only acceptable use in public: Dad Wears Speedo To Pick Up Son On The Last Day Of School

“Originally designed in the 1960s to reduce drag, support and provide freedom of movement for competitive swimmers, the Speedo brief has become an iconic silhouette that transcends both the sports and fashion world,” the company said in a statement. “While the Speedo brief continues to be adopted and loved by swimmers all over the world, Speedo has a much wider range of swimwear that appeals to all tastes and offers different levels of body coverage.”

No word if the one woman who gave the Speedo a thumbs up is currently dating Ryan Reynolds’s doppelgänger. I mean, it would obviously explain her love for nut huggers.

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