New Study Says Bathroom Hand Dryers Spray Poop Particles On Your Hands

Photo: Massimo Merlini (Getty Images)

If you thought it couldn’t get any worse than some dude putting his semen in airport soap dispensers, well, think again.

According to CBS Pittsburgh, a new study suggests that drying your hands in public bathrooms using those ridiculous hand dryers is a bad idea, but it has nothing to do with the fact that they never seem to get the job done because none of us have time to sit there for six minutes while the “environmentally-conscious” machine does its thing.

Instead, it seems as though those hand dryers are actually sucking up poop particles and then spraying them onto your hands.

“The more air ya move? The more bacteria stick,” the study’s author Peter Setlow said. “And there are a lot of bacteria in bathrooms. Bacteria in bathrooms will come from feces, which can be aerosolized a bit when toilets, especially lidless toilets, are flushed.”

Here’s a nice ending: People Kept Pooping On Maine Beach So They Finally Got A Seasonal Restroom Trailer

To come to their conclusion that dryers are spraying human shit all over the place, Setlow and his team of researchers studied 36 bathrooms at the University of Connecticut School of Medicine. They found that as many as “60 different bacterial colonies can be blown out of the machines in just one 30-second drying.”

While we’re not too sure about the credibility of a researcher who says “ya” instead of “you,” each restroom has since been fitted with paper towel dispensers, so it appears as though this gross story has a happy ending.