People Are Really Panicking Over The Possible Shutdown Of Necco

Photo: Keith Beaty/Toronto Star via Getty Images

If I offered to trade my Honda Civic straight up for a box of Milk Duds, odds are my friends and family would send me to the nut house. It’s just that something like that would never happen because this is the real world.

Or could it?

According to Grub Street, sales of Necco’s products – which include Sweethearts, Candy Buttons, Slap Stix, Mary Janes, Squirrel Nut Zippers and the hallmark wafers – have jumped more than 50 percent at CandyStore.com since the company announced that they might have to lay off 395 workers and potentially shut down the entire company if a buyer cannot be found.

Photo: John Tlumacki/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

In fact, sales of the hallmark wafers alone have spiked some 63 percent since the announcement. Apparently the hair band Cinderella was ahead of their time, as it appears that that everybody is now living out their hit song “Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone).”

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Of course, buying up a crapload of candy just because it might not be there next week doesn’t even come close to the top of the Necco nutty meter when compared to what Katie Samuels did. Believe it or not, the 23-year-old Samuels recently offered to trade her 2003 Honda Accord for CandyStore.com’s entire stock of Necco Wafers. The reason? You guessed it – they remind her of happier times when she would pretend the wafers were communion bread at her grandma’s house (Necco turned her down).

Then again, we haven’t seen Katie’s Accord. Maybe it’s a 15-year-old piece of shit that couldn’t even fetch 50 bucks at a salvage yard. If that’s the case, then she just might be insanely brilliant.