This App Actually Tracks Your Erections To Determine If You’re In Good Physical Health

Photo: DreamWorks Pictures

Do you wake up every morning, look down and see your pal ready to start the day? Good, that’s a great sign. And have you ever wondered to yourself, “Boy, is there an app on my phone to track all of these erections?” Of course you’ve wondered that, and now thanks to Roman that app is a real thing. And what’s called? It’s called the Morning Glory app, of course.

Image: Roman/Morning Glory

Dr. Steven Lamm, the Medical Director at the NYU Center for Men’s Health, is all for this, as he had this to say:

“If I could only ask one question to determine the state of a man’s general health I’d ask if he gets morning erections.”

This Steven fella seems like an alright guy. So let’s talk about how this all works. First, you have to download the app.

Once you open it, you have to answer a simple question: “Did you wake up with morning wood?”

Depending on the response, you’ll get a corresponding funny GIF.

After that it’s all about the ‘Boner Streak.’ This page is all about counting and logging in your morning erections and actually sharing an interesting boner fact. You can also expect all this on this page:

Logging three morning erections in a row unlocks a confetti party to celebrate your boner streak success

Should you not have an erection for multiple days in a row, the app will suggest that you chat with a physician and offer a completely free phone consultation with Roman’s Clinical Director

The Morning Glory app also offers a calendar that will display the amount of boners you’re getting each month.

According to Roman, this is why having your pal up and ready to go is key:

“Erections are complex. Your hormones need to be released on-demand, your nervous system has to release the relevant signals, your brain and your body need to be in sync, and your heart has to pump six times the normal blood flow. So if you’re experiencing a diminished erection, it’s often the first sign of a far more serious condition that could be brewing. Think of ED as the man’s equivalent to a car’s check engine light.”

So check down below and make sure it’s doing what it’s supposed to be doing. And make sure to get the Morning Glory app!

Um, yeah, let’s not do that: Some Dudes Are Rubbing Nitroglycerin On Their Penises To Get Erections