Creepy Guy Story #3
I’m in a competition with a group learning how to set up electric fencing for livestock. I slice my finger pretty good when trying to pull out a corner post (We had to be fast to win!)
I go to the instructor and start showing him the cut, when an old man sitting on the ground asks if he could see. Why not I think, show him my hand and continue talking to the instructor.
Until, that is, he grabs my hand, sticks my finger in his mouth, sucks the blood off, and says “All better!”
I still had to see the creepy guy for the rest of the program for 4 months, everyday. He did apologize, but like what?
Creepy Guy Story #4
The summer after I graduated high school I had a friend whose house I crashed at all the time. Her dad stuck my toe in his mouth once. He was telling me how cute and nice looking my feet were then just grabbed one and started sucking on my toe. I went to her bedroom where she was to tell her what happened and he followed me and tried to hit on me some more. It was super creepy and she didn’t even react to it. Like it was a totally normal thing. When I told her about the foot thing she was just like, oh yeah, he likes feet.
It was the most disgusting thing that has ever happened to me. What a creepy guy.
Creepy Guy Story #5
When I was 14, I was sitting and reading on the floor in a corner of Borders Books. I was sort of dreamy and not very aware of my environment, even for my age. It was quiet and no one was around that area of the store at the time. I had specifically chosen to sit there so I could have some privacy.
I was absorbed in my reading (The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Murakami) when all of a sudden there was a hand resting softly on my knee. I looked up at a small, clean-cut, dark-haired man, maybe about 40, crouched down in front of me. He had huge, sad eyes and was speaking very quietly. He asked me if I liked the book I was reading; I said yes. He told me he had Borders gift certificates in his car downstairs and could buy it for me if I would follow him outside. I told him no thanks and he asked if I was sure. I said yes. He walked away.
A few minutes later I saw him at the top of the staircase heading down. The creepy guy was staring at me with a look I can only describe as heartbroken. Creepily, he was holding a single flower to his chest. He walked down the stairs with his eyes fixed on me the entire way.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.
