Hilary Duff’s Legs Will Murder You

Hilary Duff looks too happy and relaxed for somebody who does what looks like 250 overhead squats a day. Her legs should be enough to put her on some kind of watch list. No the no-fly list, because if the plane needs to make an emergency landing she can just stick one of her legs out. She’s probably a mutant. She needs to be registered. In her last interview, she said, “I’m a normal girl. I’m strong. I’m fit.” Who talks like that? You know who doesn’t? Normal girls. Normal girls talk about Beyonce and yoga. Is Hillary Clinton involved? They have the same first name, but it’s spelled differently? What is the media not telling us? There’s levels to this.