Every media outlet is saying “Chelsea Handler opens up about having two abortions” without noticing, so I didn’t go there. I’ll just say that Chelsea Handler wrote an essay for Playboy where she revealed she had two abortions at the age of 16. Spark Notes: got pregnant to piss off her parents, got an abortion. Didn’t realize that having unprotected sex caused pregnancy after the first abortion, so had to get a second one.
And I didn’t have just one abortion; I had two in the same year, impregnated by the same guy. I didn’t have the money the second time. I had to scrape together the $230 to pay Planned Parenthood, but it was a safe abortion. Getting unintentionally pregnant more than once is irresponsible, but it’s still necessary to make a thoughtful decision. We all make mistakes all the time. I happened to fuck up twice at the age of 16. I’m grateful that I came to my senses and was able to get an abortion legally without risking my health or bankrupting myself or my family. I’m 41 now. I don’t ever look back and think, God, I wish I’d had that baby.
I can’t bring myself to think the fact Chelsea Handler has had two abortions is some kind of shocking revelation, so they only thing I can really take from this is that Megan Fox really can see dead people. Shit. I wonder if she can still see Bernie Sanders’ campaign.
Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr.
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #1
UNSPECIFIED LOCATION - 2010: (EDITORIAL USE ONLY. NO COVER USAGE) Actress Megan Fox poses during a portrait session to announce Megan Fox as the new face of Emporio Armani Underwear and Armani Jeans in 2010. (Photo by GAMMA/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #2
UNSPECIFIED LOCATION - 2010: (EDITORIAL USE ONLY. NO COVER USAGE) Actress Megan Fox poses during a portrait session to announce Megan Fox as the new face of Emporio Armani Underwear and Armani Jeans in 2010. (Photo by GAMMA/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #3
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - AUGUST 09: Actress Megan Fox poses with the Choice Hottie Award in the press room during the 2009 Teen Choice Awards held at Gibson Amphitheatre on August 9, 2009 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #4
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - AUGUST 09: Actress Megan Fox poses with the Choice Hottie Award in the press room during the 2009 Teen Choice Awards held at Gibson Amphitheatre on August 9, 2009 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #5
BERLIN - JUNE 14: Actress Megan Fox attends the German premiere of 'Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen' at the Sony Center CineStar on June 14, 2009 in Berlin, Germany. (Photo by Anita Bugge/WireImage)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #6
BERLIN - JUNE 14: Actress Megan Fox attends the German premiere of 'Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen' at the Sony Center CineStar on June 14, 2009 in Berlin, Germany. (Photo by Anita Bugge/WireImage)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #7
LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 16: Actress Megan Fox arrives at the premiere of Dreamworks'"Eagle Eye" at the Mann Chinese Theater on September 16, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #8
LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 16: Actress Megan Fox arrives at the premiere of Dreamworks'"Eagle Eye" at the Mann Chinese Theater on September 16, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #9
PARIS - JULY 07: Actress Megan Fox attends the Giorgio Armani Haute Couture A/W 2010 fashion Show at Palais de Chaillot on July 7, 2009 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #10
PARIS - JULY 07: Actress Megan Fox attends the Giorgio Armani Haute Couture A/W 2010 fashion Show at Palais de Chaillot on July 7, 2009 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #11
LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 17: (EDITORS NOTE: Image processed using digital filters) Actress Megan Fox attends Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Sports Awards 2014 at UCLA's Pauley Pavilion on July 17, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Mark Davis/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #12
LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 17: (EDITORS NOTE: Image processed using digital filters) Actress Megan Fox attends Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Sports Awards 2014 at UCLA's Pauley Pavilion on July 17, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Mark Davis/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #13
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA - AUGUST 26: Actress Megan Fox attends the Premiere of Paramount Pictures' "TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES" at CGV Yeoido, on August 26, 2014 in Seoul, South Korea. (Photo by Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures International)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #14
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA - AUGUST 26: Actress Megan Fox attends the Premiere of Paramount Pictures' "TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES" at CGV Yeoido, on August 26, 2014 in Seoul, South Korea. (Photo by Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures International)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #15
LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 16: Actress Megan Fox appears at the "Jennifer's Body" Hot Topic Fan Event at Hollywood and Highland on September 16, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #16
LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 16: Actress Megan Fox appears at the "Jennifer's Body" Hot Topic Fan Event at Hollywood and Highland on September 16, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #17
HOLLYWOOD - JUNE 17: Actress Megan Fox arrives at premiere of Warner Bros. "Jonah Hex" held at ArcLight Cinema's Cinerama Dome on June 17, 2010 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #18
HOLLYWOOD - JUNE 17: Actress Megan Fox arrives at premiere of Warner Bros. "Jonah Hex" held at ArcLight Cinema's Cinerama Dome on June 17, 2010 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #19
Actress Megan Fox arrives with a guest for the 68th annual Golden Globe awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California January 16, 2011. AFP PHOTO / Robyn BECK (Photo credit should read ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #20
Actress Megan Fox arrives with a guest for the 68th annual Golden Globe awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California January 16, 2011. AFP PHOTO / Robyn BECK (Photo credit should read ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #21
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JANUARY 13: Actress Megan Fox arrives at the 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 13, 2013 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jeff Vespa/WireImage)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #22
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JANUARY 13: Actress Megan Fox arrives at the 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 13, 2013 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jeff Vespa/WireImage)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #23
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JUNE 12: Actress Megan Fox of the US attends the special event celebrity screening of the new film "Transformers" at Hoyts Entertainment Quarter, Moore Park on June 12, 2007 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Sergio Dionisio/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Megan Fox
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #24
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JUNE 12: Actress Megan Fox of the US attends the special event celebrity screening of the new film "Transformers" at Hoyts Entertainment Quarter, Moore Park on June 12, 2007 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Sergio Dionisio/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Megan Fox
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #25
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - JUNE 01: Actress Megan Fox poses in the press room during the 17th annual MTV Movie Awards held at the Gibson Amphitheatre on June 1, 2008 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #26
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - JUNE 01: Actress Megan Fox poses in the press room during the 17th annual MTV Movie Awards held at the Gibson Amphitheatre on June 1, 2008 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #27
LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 17: Actress Megan Fox attends Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Sports Awards 2014 at UCLA's Pauley Pavilion on July 17, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #28
LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 17: Actress Megan Fox attends Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Sports Awards 2014 at UCLA's Pauley Pavilion on July 17, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #29
SAN DIEGO, CA - JULY 24: Actors Megan Fox and Will Arnett attend the Paramount Studios presentation during Comic-Con International 2014 at the San Diego Convention Center on July 24, 2014 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #30
SAN DIEGO, CA - JULY 24: Actors Megan Fox and Will Arnett attend the Paramount Studios presentation during Comic-Con International 2014 at the San Diego Convention Center on July 24, 2014 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #31
SAN DIEGO, CA - JULY 24: Actress Megan Fox attends Paramount Studios Press Line during Comic-Con International 2014 at San Diego Convention Center on July 24, 2014 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #32
SAN DIEGO, CA - JULY 24: Actress Megan Fox attends Paramount Studios Press Line during Comic-Con International 2014 at San Diego Convention Center on July 24, 2014 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #33
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO - JULY 29: American actress Megan Fox attends the Latin American Premiere of Paramount Pictures' 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' at Cinepolis Acoxpa, on July 29, 2014 in Mexico City, Mexico. (Photo by Victor Chavez/ Getty Images for Paramount Pictures International)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #34
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO - JULY 29: American actress Megan Fox attends the Latin American Premiere of Paramount Pictures' 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' at Cinepolis Acoxpa, on July 29, 2014 in Mexico City, Mexico. (Photo by Victor Chavez/ Getty Images for Paramount Pictures International)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #35
WESTWOOD, CA - AUGUST 03: Actress Megan Fox attends the premiere of Paramount Pictures' "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" at Regency Village Theater on August 3, 2014 in Westwood, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #36
WESTWOOD, CA - AUGUST 03: Actress Megan Fox attends the premiere of Paramount Pictures' "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" at Regency Village Theater on August 3, 2014 in Westwood, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #37
WESTWOOD, CA - AUGUST 03: Actress Megan Fox arrives at the Los Angeles Premiere of 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' at Regency Village Theatre on August 3, 2014 in Westwood, California. (Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #38
WESTWOOD, CA - AUGUST 03: Actress Megan Fox arrives at the Los Angeles Premiere of 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' at Regency Village Theatre on August 3, 2014 in Westwood, California. (Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #39
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA - AUGUST 26: Actress Megan Fox attends the Premiere of Paramount Pictures' "TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES" at CGV Yeoido, on August 26, 2014 in Seoul, South Korea. (Photo by Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures International)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #40
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA - AUGUST 26: Actress Megan Fox attends the Premiere of Paramount Pictures' "TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES" at CGV Yeoido, on August 26, 2014 in Seoul, South Korea. (Photo by Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures International)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #41
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA - AUGUST 27: Actress Megan Fox attends the press conference for South Korean premiere of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" at Shilla Hotel on August 27, 2014 in Seoul, South Korea. (Photo by Han Myung-Gu/WireImage)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #42
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA - AUGUST 27: Actress Megan Fox attends the press conference for South Korean premiere of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" at Shilla Hotel on August 27, 2014 in Seoul, South Korea. (Photo by Han Myung-Gu/WireImage)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #43
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA - AUGUST 27: Megan Fox attends the movie "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 2014" press conference at The Shilla on August 27, 2014 in Seoul, South Korea. (Photo by The Chosunilbo JNS/Multi-Bits via Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #44
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA - AUGUST 27: Megan Fox attends the movie "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 2014" press conference at The Shilla on August 27, 2014 in Seoul, South Korea. (Photo by The Chosunilbo JNS/Multi-Bits via Getty Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #45
BERLIN, GERMANY - OCTOBER 05: Megan Fox attends the Underground Event Screening of Paramount Pictures' 'TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES' at UFO Sound Studios on October 5, 2014 in Berlin, Germany. (Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures International)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #46
BERLIN, GERMANY - OCTOBER 05: Megan Fox attends the Underground Event Screening of Paramount Pictures' 'TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES' at UFO Sound Studios on October 5, 2014 in Berlin, Germany. (Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures International)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #47
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - OCTOBER 11: Actress Megan Fox attends Ferrari's 60th Anniversary in the USA Gala at the Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on October 11, 2014 in Beverly Hills, California.(Photo by JB Lacroix/WireImage)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #48
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - OCTOBER 11: Actress Megan Fox attends Ferrari's 60th Anniversary in the USA Gala at the Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on October 11, 2014 in Beverly Hills, California.(Photo by JB Lacroix/WireImage)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #49
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 30: Actress Megan Fox in a blond wig seen on the set of 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2' filming in Grand Central on April 30, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/GC Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #50
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 30: Actress Megan Fox in a blond wig seen on the set of 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2' filming in Grand Central on April 30, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/GC Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #51
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 12: Megan Fox on the set of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2" on May 12, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Bobby Bank/GC Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #52
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 12: Megan Fox on the set of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2" on May 12, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Bobby Bank/GC Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #53
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 12: Megan Fox on the set of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2" on May 12, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Bobby Bank/GC Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #54
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 12: Megan Fox on the set of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2" on May 12, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Bobby Bank/GC Images)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #55
WAILEA, HI - JUNE 15: Actress Megan Fox poses for a portrait at the 2011 Maui Film Festival at the Celestial Cinema on June 15, 2011 in Wailea, Hawaii. (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images For Maui Film Festival)
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Megan Fox Damon Wayans Jr. #56
WAILEA, HI - JUNE 15: Actress Megan Fox poses for a portrait at the 2011 Maui Film Festival at the Celestial Cinema on June 15, 2011 in Wailea, Hawaii. (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images For Maui Film Festival)
