Gwyneth Paltrow Lets Bees Sting Her In The Face To Retain Her Eternal Beauty

“Aww, you don’t use quinoa tampons? Bless your heart.”



I’m not a campaign manager, but Bernie Sanders is really missing opportunities to attack Gwyneth Paltrow. She’s an insufferable, bourgeoisie pain in the ass who can’t even get divorced right. She also does shit like this. She also just did an interview with The New York Times. She’s super relatable, guys. 

I’m always the guinea pig to try everything. I’ve got to try them all. I love acupuncture….But generally, I’m open to anything. I’ve been stung by bees. It’s a thousands of years old treatment called apitherapy. People use it to get rid of inflammation and scarring. It’s actually pretty incredible if you research it. But, man, it’s painful. I haven’t done cryotherapy yet, but I do want to try that.

Bees. Gwyneth Paltrow lets bees sting her in the face. Like, imagine being married this. Or dating this. What a goddamn nightmare that must be. At what point do you say “Candyman” five times in a mirror since she likes bees so much. 

 

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