The Royal Cousins Had Another Inbred Kid

Kate and her cusband, William, had another kid. This time it’s a girl who is bald like her dad-cousin.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have introduced their daughter to the world, as they left hospital to take her home to Kensington Palace. The princess, whose name has yet to be announced, slept in her mother’s arms during her first public appearance outside St Mary’s Hospital, in London. The princess – who is fourth in line to the throne – was delivered at 08:34 BST on Saturday after a short labour. The Duke of Cambridge was present for the birth of the 8lbs 3oz (3.7kg) baby.

Unnamed Female Baby is fourth in line to the throne, which basically means Unnamed Female Baby might as well be four millionth in line to the throne, so who really cares. She’ll grow up, pose for pictures, be super into horses, go to college, be forced to do something for a charity then die never having had a job. Maybe she’ll get addicted to heroin or marry an Asian guy. Who knows. The most important thing to remember here is that nobody gives a shit and we won the Revolutionary War and could nuke Britain any time we wanted because we have a lot of missiles and like blowing shit up since our national anthem has the word “bomb” in it and that’s not a reference to burritos.