Taylor Swift Wants You To Stop Humiliating Her
Taylor Swift dates a lot. We get that. That’s kinda her thing. She needs to date to write lyrics for albums so she can sell them and make millions, then when it’s time for a new album she dates again to put her most recent ex on blast. Remember that time she bought a house across the street from the Kennedy’s after dating the high school junior Kennedy for two months? That was weird. Anyway, she thinks when we talk about that it’s “public humiliation”. Sure. Let’s roll with that.
“I think the media has sent me a really unfair message over the past couple of years, which is that I’m not allowed to date for excitement, or fun, or new experiences or learning lessons,” Swift told the magazine. “I’m only allowed to date if it’s for a lasting, multiple-year relationship. Otherwise I’m a, quote, ‘serial dater.’ Or, quote, ‘boy crazy.’ The narrative has been so wrong, every time it was the same. It’s ‘Taylor spotted talking to this guy, she’s chasing him.’ They create a beginning to the story that didn’t happen most of the time, so then they have to create an ending.” Maintaining a relationship is not easy for the 25-year-old, who is currently rumored to be dating Calvin Harris. “[T]here is no easy way for me to engage with romance. I’m really busy, so I can’t. And it’s a good thing that I feel really independent and I feel that my friends are all I need. It’s kind of a sad way I got there, though, being shamed into it,” she said. Adding: “Well, what else is it when you have two boyfriends in one year and everyone’s calling you boy crazy, making jokes about you at awards shows? That’s public humiliation. And I don’t think it’s fair.”
It’s really not anyone’s place to say who or when Taylor Swift can date someone, including her cat, but if every track on your albums is one big subtweet, then we might mention that once or twice. If you were bitten by a werewolf then transformed into a monster with an insatiable hunger during the next full moon, then we’d of course mention that as well. I guess what I’m saying is give up something else to talk about maybe? You’re pretty tall, so you’d be a pretty scary werewolf. I don’t know how much the average person grows during the werewolf transformation, but I’d put you over at least 6’9″. That would be pretty impressive. Especially with NBA scouts if you can demonstrate off ball defensive skills. You’d be a mid-first round pick for sure.