Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel Had A Kid

Ten months ago, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel had unprotected sex then Timberlake shot semen into her vagina. Due to a 4 billion year old biological function, Timerlake’s sperm then fertilized Biel’s egg and now another human is added to the 7 billion who are already here. Congrats to the couple for such an accomplishment!

It’s official: Justin Timberlake will be passing on his suit and tie. The singer-songwriter and his wife, actress Jessica Biel, have welcomed their first child, son Silas Randall Timberlake, their reps confirm to PEOPLE exclusively. Reps say mom and baby are doing well and dad is “ecstatic.” Further details are not being released at this time.

“Silas Randall” already sounds like a douche who will die on a sidewalk on the Sunset Strip at some point because his album of electric banjo NSYNC covers didn’t sell. Anyway, moving on.