Avril Lavigne Has Lyme Disease

Hey, remember when Avril Lavigne went on Twitter and was like, “I’ve some kind of disease” and everybody was like, “k”? Turns out it’s Lyme Disease. Glad to hear this isn’t a April Fools’ joke.

“I could barely eat, and when we went to the pool, I had to leave and go lie in bed,” she tells PEOPLE in this week’s exclusive cover story. “My friends asked, ‘What’s wrong?’ I didn’t know.”  Shortly after, following months of feeling lethargic and lightheaded, the normally energetic singer got her diagnosis: she had a severe case of Lyme disease.  “I had no idea a bug bite could do this,” says Lavigne, who believes she was bit by a tick sometime last spring. “I was bedridden for five months. The Canadian singer has been recuperating at her home in Ontario, where she spends time with family, watches movies and keeps up with fans through social media.  “I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t move,” she says. “I thought I was dying.”

Man, she had to leave the pool and go lie down? Can you even imagine? So horrible. Prayers up. I really don’t know what Lyme Disease entails other than being in bed for 5 months, but maybe that’s what she gets for writing Avril Lavigne songs. It’s unnatural for Avril Lavigne and Nickelback to occupy the same space, and the universe has a way of shutting that whole thing down before a vacuum of suck is formed and we all go through it. Anyway, get better I guess? Or don’t. I just ordered a burrito, so I’m actually more concerned about that right now.