Taylor Swift Is Over Katy Perry

I think the only way to end this feud is for Katy Perry and Taylor Swift to smoke a bowl then scissor each other, but I also put mustard in my ramen. My methods have always been controversial. Katy Perry is obsessed with Taylor, but Taylor sat down with an interview for Telegraph and refused to talk about Katy. Until, you know, she did. It’s all very confusing.

I’m not giving them anything to write about. I’m not walking up the street with boys, I’m not stumbling out of clubs drunk. But I’m never going to talk about her in my interview. It’s not going to happen..[In five years] I’ll probably still be single, let’s be honest. No one’s going to sign up for this and everything that goes with it. Like, ‘Hi, nice to meet you, want a date? Do you love camera flashes? I hope you do!’ I don’t know what’s going to happen if I’m ever content in a relationship – no idea how that’s going to work. I don’t even know if that’s possible with the life I have. ‘In five years’ time she’ll be so afraid of everything, she doesn’t leave her house. She’s just surrounded by cats. So many cats, they’ve divided themselves up into armies and she wanders around lint-rolling the couch that no one’s going to sit on because she’s afraid to have people over…'”

Besides her legs, Taylor self-deprecating humor (but not really) is kinda hot, but you know she’s melted candles and made a voodoo doll of Harry Styles at least once. Taylor hangs out with chicks all the time for the same reason all chicks hang out with chicks: she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Let her get a boyfriend or any man who shows any kind of interest in her. Her chick friends will only be able to send her FB messages and the cats will eventually starve to death.