Avril Lavigne Is Probably Single Right Now

Avril Lavigne Divorce


Marriage is pretty cool, because it’s a societal obligation that forces you to sign a contract promising to stay with another person until one of you dies, but it has a clause that stipulates if you fuck up, she’ll get to take half your shit. Women love the idea of marriage, because marriage means an engagement ring they can post on Facebook and Instagram. It also means a big, huge wedding they’ve been dreaming about their whole lives that will send them into crippling debt before they even get started, then after the wedding and honeymoon, they realize they have to look and have sex with the same person for the rest of their lives even though that person takes dumps with the door open. That part doesn’t sound as cool, so that’s why over half of marriages end in divorce. Oh, by the way, Avril Lavigne and Chad Nickelback are getting a divorce. That’s general point here.

This rockstar romance may be coming to an end. Avril Lavigne and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger are headed for a split after a year of marriage, insiders reveal exclusively in the new issue of Us Weekly. “It’s over,” a source tells Us. “He has been going around L.A. telling people that they are divorcing.” Kroeger, 39, popped the question to Lavigne, 29, in August 2012 after dating for a month. They wed in an intimate ceremony in the South of France in July 2013.

The last time we heard from these two was last month. The month where he bought her a 17-CARAT DIAMOND RING. She probably won’t give that back, because if I had a literal vagina instead of the figurative one I have sometimes and somebody was dumb enough to appraise it at 17-carats, I’ll gladly take that shit and never look back. It would probably make my eyes gets so red. And what the hell is on Joey’s head?