Selena Gomez Is Back With Bieber Because Of Jesus
The wild hitmaker was reportedly seen attending bible study with former girlfriend Selena Gomez on Wednesday night, at the City Church, in Los Angeles. The 20-year-old born-again Christian is thought to have arrived after the service had started, before sharing a photo of the pair looking loved-up on his Instagram page. A source told the Daily Mirror: ‘The pair sat next to each other while partaking in Bible study and seemed very close. They then left together in Bieber’s car. ‘Justin looked really comfortable with Selena as he still thinks their bond is unbreakable and knows that Selena will always love him.’ He took to Twitter later to post: ‘God is good’, which was retweeted by his fans 68,000 times.
If Justin Bieber is a “born-again Christian”, I guess he was stillborn, because well, you read this site. I don’t need to tell you. And I thought God had a thing about premarital sex. And wasn’t the New Testament basically Jesus saying, “Hey, you. You over there being a dick. Don’t do that, bruh. Not cool. Look, uhh, anybody know a place I can crash for a like a few days? I’m kinda in between places right now”? Anyway, maybe it is some kind of miracle, or Justin Bieber had his penis removed and bought another one that was perfectly molded to Selena’s vagina, because I refuse to believe she’s this dumb. If she is, she could probably pass the Ferguson PD exam.