Katy Perry Is Single. Again.

Katy Perry Diplo


About five minutes ago the Internet learned that Katy Perry was dating Diplo (an American DJ, not a type of yogurt), now they already split up because Diplo saw her boobs once and started picking out baby names.

Multiple sources tell In Touch the pair have split after a one-month courtship, and it's because the 35-year-old DJ decided to call things off. “Diplo broke up with her because she does not want to be in a serious relationship. She's doing OK and not too sad about it. They wanted different things," a friend of Katy's tells the mag. "She freaked out when he wanted to introduce her to his parents. She doesn’t want to get married again — at least not anytime soon. “She wants to date and he wanted something much more serious. It was too much, too soon."

Diplo. Dude. We've all been there, but a month? Bro. This chick just got out of a two-year relationship, and you wanted your parents to meet you two at Olive Garden for some breadsticks? C'mon now. She just wanted to show you her boobs and give it up once in a while, but you started making a remix of the Kay Jewelers jingle. Just so we're all clear, you willingly decided to stop seeing Katy Perry's boobs because Katy Perry didn't want your parents to see her face. Do your parents have to meet the chicks you jack off to while watching porn, too? What is your endgame here?