Lindsay Lohan Hates Jennifer Lawrence, Really Needs A Bra

Lindsay Lohan


There's a few reasons to dislike Jennifer Lawrence, but this is two women we're talking about here, so Lindsay's reasons can only either be shoes or penis. And this is Lindsay Lohan, so it's penis.

Lindsay Lohan doesn’t like Jennifer Lawrence — and it’s not because she’s getting more gigs than her. The hatred actually stems from Lilo’s long list of lovers and the fact that JLaw’s boyfriend, Nicholas Hoult, isn’t included Star magazine reports. “She tried to hook up with him back in 2010, but he wouldn’t give her the time of day,” an insider told the magazine. “She called him nonstop. Finally, he told her to buzz off. Now she’s bitter and taking out her anger on Jen.”

Whatever. But can we all form a prayer circle for Lindsay's tits? I would go on Facebook and ask for Prayer Warriors, and I wouldn't even have to say for what, because apparently God knows who needs the prayer. But look at her boobs. They look like something you'd send back at Waffle House, so I feel like I need to be specific here.