January Jones Is Actually Holding Her Child

January Jones is an emotionless cyborg who is dead inside, but somehow her cold, lifeless uterus produced a child, Xander, from either the seed of married X-Men director, Matthew Vaughn, or Michael Fassbender. She still refuses to let anyone know who the father is, but up until know, the child probably thought his nanny was his mom. But I guess he's cool with January now, because like most men in Hollywood know, her boobs are easily accessible. That's always a plus.