Stacy Keibler Is Going Back To Wrestling Because She’s Missing That Clooney Money

Since are taught at an early age that their vaginas are made of solid gold and velvet and that they're princesses who will one day meet her prince who will only speak in Drake lyrics while showering her with millions, Stacy Keibler is considering going back to wrestling mat where George Clooney founf her because she needs to "support her current lifestyle" that she doesn't have anymore. National Enquirer reports:

“Stacy is considering making a one-time appearance on the wres­tling circuit,” a close pal told The ENQUIRER. “But it’s got to be cash-heavy offer. She would like the dough.” The former World Wrestling Enter­tainment beauty’s two-year romance with Oscar winner Clooney ended in July, but during that time she apparently got used to the high life. “Stacy had it all,” said the pal. “Private jets, a mind-blowing wardrobe, whatever she wanted was at her beck and call. “I remember when she spent thousands on a high-tech tanning bed!” Even when work commitments separated them, 34-year-old Stacy lived at Clooney’s house with a full-service staff to wait on her, according to the source. “Since they split, Stacy’s had to give up a lot,” said the source. “But she still buys the best of everything and splashes out big bucks every week at the spa. She has two trainers, a health coach and a private chef. “She estimates she NEEDS over $50,000 a month to support her current lifestyle. A million-dollar appearance fee would cover her ex­penses for a year and leave enough left over for her to make a serious investment in something.”

Poor thing. I don't know about you, but I'll barely be able to sleep tonight not knowing whether if Stacy Keibler will be able to survive with less than $50K a month. You expect a 34-year old piece George Clooney banged for a few years until she mentioned the word "marriage" in his presence to just use any tanning bed? What kind of monster are you? She obviously deserves singing mice to make her clothes.