Jennifer Aniston Says She’s Definitely Not Pregnant

Yesterday, the celebrity baby fetishists at Us Weekly ran a cover saying Jennifer Aniston is pregnant, then proceeded to give a pretty detailed timeline that showed why they sell a lot of magazines. But, as expected, she's probably not. Daily Mail reports:

Over the years there have been dozens of reports that Jennifer Aniston has been pregnant, all false. On Wednesday UsWeekly made that claim again with the excited cover line, Jen's Big Secret, Pregnant! But the actress' rep strongly denies the story, telling MailOnline, 'Jennifer is not pregnant.'The publication printed a rep denial, but still proceeded to detail how the Friends star, 44, has been trying very hard to hide the fact that she is expecting a child with her fiance Justin Theroux, 42. 'She's thrilled!' a source tells the weekly magazine.

Jennifer Aniston is 44, so if she is pregnant, it just increases the chances the baby might come with four arms or talons if it comes out at all, so it might be good idea to deny the reports until we see what Jesus' miracle is about first. If there's reports of a winged creatued draining the blood of stray cats and smal to medium sized dogs in the Hollywood in about seven months, let's circle back to this.