The Inventor Of The Foam Finger Hates Miley Cyrus

So this happened. The Daily Beast reports:

Miley Cyrus has officially offended everyone. Now the inventor of the foam finger Miley used to, um, dance with during the VMAs is speaking out against the “We Can’t Stop” singer’s desecration of the No. 1 team-support novelty. "She took an honorable icon that is seen in sporting venues everywhere and degraded it,” said Steve Chmelar, who reportedly created the first finger in his parent’s garage in 1971. "Fortunately, the foam finger has been around long enough that it will survive this incident.”

For the millions of people who have a legitimate right to be offended by whatever the hell Miley Cyrus was trying to do at the VMAs last weekend, its the inventor of the foam finger who has picked up the flag like Denzel in Glory to defend honor of something drunk people buy to cheer for millionaires who don't know they exist. Chill, bro. It's a giant finger made out of foam. This story should told on the Congress floor for any bill for mandatory marijuana.