Miley Cyrus Is Still Trying
Based on her Twitter, Miley Cyrus has convinced herself that she stole the night at the 2013 MTV VMAs because everyone is talking about her. I mean, everybody talked about Jerry Sandusky and George Zimmerman when they were in the news too, so maybe she should learn the difference. Look, MTV has been sexually exploiting young women longer than Ariel Castro, so of course Miley would try to be whatever the hell that was Sunday night on the same network that pays teenagers to get pregnant or puts them in a penthouse with a menial job to teach them about the "real world" (MTV literally turned a chick into a ho once), and they really show no signs of stopping soon. So, if your daughter ever appears on MTV, cut your uterus or penis off, because you're being held back a grade. But since Billy Ray Cyrus is afraid that Hannah Montana might run out, he actually tweeted support for the identity crisis that was carried in his semen. So here we are again. Miley Cyrus tweeting pictures of her sad ass while living under the delusion that we think she's hot, grown ass woman. No. You're in a leotard in a closet. You'd think with all the squats she's been doing, she'd have an ass by now, yet here we are. Christopher Colombus would have lost that bet if he had to sail around this thing.
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) August 27, 2013