Jason Segel Is Having Sex With This

My condolenceses. Life & Style reports:

Looks like Jason Segel has caught the eye of Cameron Diaz! Life & Style can reveal that the pair were caught cozying up in East Hampton, N.Y., on Tuesday night. "They were at [upscale eatery] Nick and Toni's and seemed to be on a date," one eyewitness tells the mag. And that's not the only place the Hollywood hot shots were spotted — they were also seen shopping at Citarella food market in the same area! "They bought groceries and then drove off together," an eyewitness on Instagram revealed.

Cameron Diaz looks like her face melted and an exiled doctor on Mexico tried to fix it in a warehouse on question power grid, so yeah, it probably takes him a while. No need to think about drowning puppies or your dad masturbating.