Avril Lavigne Is Getting Married To The Nickelback Dude Tonight

Earlier this week, the first Canadian player was drafted #1 overall in the NBA Draft, but all of that goodwill and pride has instantly been obliterated between Canada and America because Avril Lavigne is marrying Chad Kroeger tonight. On Canada Day. Robin Sparkles would approve. New York Post reports:

Rock princess Avril Lavigne will cap off her lavish "wedding weekend" getaway with the exchange of vows on Monday evening, after spending three days in the south of France celebrating her union to Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger. The couple had a big party on Saturday in Cannes for family and friends, but according to US Weekly sources, the "extremely intimate" ceremony is actually on Monday. Earlier this month, Lavigne, 28, told the magazine about her excitement leading up to the big day. "I'm the one who has the crazy vision and he's letting me be me," she said. "It's a lot and I just want to make sure I really enjoy this amazing time." "I want all the guests who come to have this once in a lifetime experience and I want everyone to say 'Wow!' and for it to be special for everyone, not just us."

Justin Bieber. Drake. Kelly Oxford. Corey Haim. Toronto Raptors. Haven't we Americans suffered enough by the hands of these momsters? How much longer do we sit idly by as Canada just sits there with all their free healthcare and legal prostitution before we invade? WAKE UP AMERICA!