Courtney Stodden Has A Sex Tape

Since famehores hate when other famewhores steall all their famewhore spotlight, Courtney Stodden is now claiming she has a sex tape. But it's private and you can't see it. Translation: "I plan to start a bidding war and whoever pays me the most will hearing from my fake lawyer because I'm going to pretend it was stolen but not pursue monetary damages because I've already been paid." E! reports:

Surprise, surprise: The provocative teen bride reveals exclusively to E! News that she's made a sex tape. But—before you start girding for a brouhaha of Farrah Abraham proportions—the 18-year-old adds that the video, which reportedly features her solo and was supposedly shot recently after she turned 18, is private. The tape, Stodden tells us at the Shekhar Rahate fashion show in Los Angeles Thursday, is "not out in the media" nor is it on her computer, and she advises wannabe hackers not to get their hopes up. "Hackers, don't even go there cause you'll find nothing," Doug Hutchison's wife tells us about poking around her computer. As for what's on the tape, it's "just me," she claims, adding that it wasn't shot too long ago. "I turned 18 in August, so you do the math."

First, let's get this out of the way: Courtney Stodden turned 18 in August sometime in the 90's, so all let's stop believing this. Secondly, I would very much like to watch this. It's one of the drawbacks of having a penis. You're pretty much at it's mercy. DAMN YOU, COURTNEY.