Beyonce Is Ridiculous

When she's not trying to censor the Internet, pretending to have a baby, or agreeing to do a documentary about her life only if she could control and manipulate every possible frame, Beyonce goes on tour. But don't worry, her raging God complex and narcissistic personality disorder goes on tour with her as well. News AU reports:

Possibly the strangest request on the leaked rider is $900 worth of drinking straws for her dressing rooms. "The Single Ladies singer forked out $900 for titanium straws, which will be used to drink a special alkaline water that's served at exactly 21 degrees," an insider tells The FIX. According to the source, the 31-year-old also insists her crew, from drivers to set riggers, wear only 100 per cent pure cotton, presumably to save her from allergic reactions. Bey also demands plain off-white walls in her dressing rooms, with a new toilet seat at every event, and will only use red toilet paper.  There's also the hand-carved ice-ball to suck after every performance to cool her throat, along with the banning of junk food in favour of glass platters of almonds, oatcakes and green-only crudités. It's not the first time Beyonce's tour demands have been leaked. During her March Super Bowl performance, rumours emerged that the star had demanded her baby Blue Ivy's $22,000 cedar crib be shipped from New York to New Orleans, and her personal dressing room be stocked with $6,000 worth of imported cigars and alcohol for her husband Jay-Z. The superstar reportedly feels these drastic measures are integral to the smooth-running of her performances. "She's extremely regimented and is taking everything extremely seriously, so she expects her list of demands to be adhered too and every detail be taken in," the insider claims. "Working so hard and with the toll the travel takes on her body in addition to the intense shows, she feels that her requests aren't too much to ask for as she wants to ensure everything goes to plan."

Beyonce has had her head up her ass for so long, none of this should shock anyone. I'm just surprised she hasn't tried to bring people in the audience on stage so she could heal them or died after jumping off a roof because she believed she could fly.

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