If you've been reading this for a while, you know that I'd machete a room full of blondes to get to the other room in the back filled with brunettes with blue or green eyes, so it's really know surprise that my penis has been in an internal struggle for years now trying to decide if he wants to impregnate Jessica Lowndes and Ashley Greene. It's a really long, complicated story, but the short answer is both. The answer is both. And here's the twist: preferably at the same time.
Jessica Lowndes GUESS Hotel pool part
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PALM SPRINGS, CA - APRIL 13: Jessica Lowndes attends the GUESS Hotel pool party at Viceroy Palm Springs on April 13, 2013 in Palm Springs, California. (Photo by John Sciulli/Getty Images for GUESS) -
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PALM SPRINGS, CA - APRIL 13: Jessica Lowndes attends the GUESS Hotel pool party at Viceroy Palm Springs on April 13, 2013 in Palm Springs, California. (Photo by John Sciulli/Getty Images for GUESS) -
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PALM SPRINGS, CA - APRIL 13: Jessica Lowndes attends the GUESS Hotel pool party at Viceroy Palm Springs on April 13, 2013 in Palm Springs, California. (Photo by John Sciulli/Getty Images for GUESS) -
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PALM SPRINGS, CA - APRIL 13: Jessica Lowndes attends the GUESS Hotel pool party at Viceroy Palm Springs on April 13, 2013 in Palm Springs, California. (Photo by John Sciulli/Getty Images for GUESS) -
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PALM SPRINGS, CA - APRIL 13: Jessica Lowndes attends the GUESS Hotel pool party at Viceroy Palm Springs on April 13, 2013 in Palm Springs, California. (Photo by John Sciulli/Getty Images for GUESS) -
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PALM SPRINGS, CA - APRIL 13: Jessica Lowndes attends the GUESS Hotel pool party at Viceroy Palm Springs on April 13, 2013 in Palm Springs, California. (Photo by John Sciulli/Getty Images for GUESS) -
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PALM SPRINGS, CA - APRIL 13: Jessica Lowndes and guest attend the GUESS Hotel pool party at Viceroy Palm Springs on April 13, 2013 in Palm Springs, California. (Photo by John Sciulli/Getty Images for GUESS)
