OH GOD NO
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Lindsay Lohan tweeted this early this morning, so it’s an obvious April Fool’s joke. Or I least I hope it is. Because I’m not sure who would have unprotected sex with Lindsay. I mean, I would, but I really don’t think it would be fun if my penis grew dragon wings or shot acid or whatever happens when your penis touches Lindsay’s vagina. At best, it would set off those radiation reader things.
Hey, remember when Lindsay looked like this? Good times, man. Good times.