BREAKING: Taylor Swift Is ‘Falling Fast’ For Some New Dude

Sasquatch 2013: ZZ Ward

Of course you knew this was going to happen almost immediately, so it should come as no surprise to anyone that Taylor Swift is picking out floral arrangements and Googling destination weddings for a guy that’s she only texting. The dude? Surfer John John Florence (yes, the extra “John” is not a typo, it’s what his parents decided on) THG reports:

According to Life & Style sources, the singer is “falling fast” for John John Lawrence, a native of Hawaii and a professional surfer. Swift, who has embarked on her Red tour and has not been linked to a love interest in weeks, went out of her way to contact Florence, the tabloid alleges, and the two have been “text-messaging” for a couple weeks. Just how serious is the relationship? Not very, the source says: “I don’t think they’ve hung out yet. They’ve just been chatting.”

They’ll be broken up in less than a month when he decides to change his name and hire a 24-hour security detail, but at least we have “Dear John John” to look forward to on her next album.