Ed Sheeran Says Taylor Swift Doesn’t Put Out

Sasquatch 2013: Macklemore

Ed Sheeran left Taylor Swift‘s London hotel room at 4am the night before the Brit Awards, and usually when a working penis and a working vagina are in a hotel room until 4am they usually end up meeting each other. Then one cries and one goes to sleep. But since this story involves Taylor Swift and an awkward looking ginger, what I just described did not happen. Hollywood Life reports:

“I did go to her hotel, I did stay there ’til four and I did leave in the same clothes,” Ed tells TVNZ on March 12. “But I was playing her my new record. It was strictly that kind of thing.. I’m a professional.”

If I was this dude, I probably would have kept this to myself, but apparently they’re just friends. Like two girls are friends. Two girls who stay up late and listen to music and talk about boys and stuff. I just called Ed Sheeran a girl if you didn’t pick up on that.