Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend Probably Banged Some College Chicks

If you live long enough, you’ll probably end up dating Taylor Swift because her vagina is basically Ellis Island. And your chances just got a little better, because her boyfriend, Harry Styles, more than likely banged some college chicks as soon as she left England. New York Post reports:

Hours after seeing Taylor Swift off to Germany, Harry Styles attended a party where he was snapped hanging out with a bevy of female college students. According to The Mirror, Styles turned up at the bash at 1:30 a.m. and partied with the star-struck Sheffield students for three hours. Fangirls excitedly took to Twitter to announce their night with the One Direction heartthrob. One tweeted about a friend, “He told her she was very attractive and to take off her Minnie Mouse suit lol.” Another tweeted, “Best day of my life! Chilled with him for like 3 hours!!! I was literally in shock the whole time, trying to play it cool haha, but inside i was freaking out!!!!!”

Whatever. I’m more concerned with what’s going on with Taylor Swift’s ass. Can you legally call that an ass? You’d probably cum faster fucking a pizza box.