Taylor Swift Did Jingle Ball

“Abandon all hope of not hearing a song about you on the radio, ye who enter here.”

Taylor Swift performed at KIIS FM’s 2012 Jingle Ball held at the Nokia Theatre L.A. this weekend, and uh, has she always had these legs? Are these new? Why haven’t I dated her before? I mean, I realize I’m not white or in high school, but I can make it work. Unless she’s racist. She racist isn’t she? Oh, I see how it is, Taylor. You think just because I’m not white you don’t think I can have sex with you then break up with you three months later. Wait, I’m sorry that was out of line. You’re not racist. But in my defense, since I’m not white, I’d probably break up with you a lot sooner. Ain’t nobody got time for dat.